Addicted to Busy

[MajestyJo]

Our problem is not that we take refuge from action in spiritual things, but that we take refuge from spiritual things in action.

- Monica Furlong

When I came into recovery, I could not be alone. I had to have people around, the TV on or music playing. Me alone with me was bad company. So I learned to get busy and run from the stinking thinking.

Then I became addicted to busy, so busy helping others, and doing service work, I didn't find time to be alone and deal with my own issues.

Once I did the Steps, thinking it was a done deal, not realizing that recovery is a process. It is one day at a time. It isn't all about helping the other person, it is also about helping and healing for myself. I can't give away what I don't have.

If I am busy, I don't have time to the defect of character that keeps making itself known. If I keep busy, I don't have to look at my relationship(s). If i keep busy, I don't have to look at me.

Learning to meditate helped me to learn to be still and quiet my mind. I was full of should I, shouldn't I, and had a hard time coming to a decision, because I had trouble, being still long enough to turn it over and then wait for the answer.

It is okay to just be. I don't have to be caught up in busy.