Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - July

[bluidkiti]

July 19

Step by Step

"The mental state of the sick alcoholic is beyond description. I had no resentments against individuals - the whole world was all wrong. My thoughts went round and round with 'What's it all about anyhow? People have wars and kill each other; they struggle and cut each other's throats for success and what does anyone get out of it? Haven't I been successful, haven't I accomplished extraordinary things ...What do I get out of it? Everything's all wrong and hell with it.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part I ("Personal Stories"), Ch 6 ("The Vicious Cycle"), pp 244-45.

Today, an inventory of my mental state even if I am not drinking, if for no other reason than to make sure I'm not on a dry drunk. If ever I thought in my drinking days that "the whole world was wrong," do I still harbor that belief? Instead of adapting myself to the world and finding my own place in it, do I still consciously or unconsciously expect the world to change to adapt to me? If I do, chances are my Fourth Step was the immoral inventory of the world around me, not an inventory of myself - or I have neglected tolerance. The "sick alcoholic" does not have to be a drinking one. Today, to make sure I am not just dry, my mental state requires a checkup that I'm not still the sick alcoholic of my drinking days. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Do not climb the hill until you get to it.

~ English Proverb ~

As each day goes by, we gain a clearer perspective on our lives. We realize that our recovery program is our most important priority. Our sponsor and home group are ever present reminders to keep First Things First. We never stray too far from our First Step. We remember that when we came into the Program we were flat on our backs. Before we could crawl, we had to learn to sit up. Before we could walk, we had to learn to stand. There is no alternative to doing First Things First.

Our meetings help us to shut off the voices that tell us to solve tomorrow's problems today. We pray and meditate on the things that are directly in front of us. When we own the present we have peace of mind. When we rent the future we buy trouble.

If I make the proper preparations and wait until I get there to climb the hill, the climb is easier.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The mind creates the abyss and the heart crosses it

~ Nisargadatta Maharaj ~

Sometimes we are filled with fear. The challenges facing us seem so large and we feel so confused or so stymied. We wake in the middle of the night and the worst images rise up in our thoughts. Our problems, real or imagined, can overwhelm us. We feel bereft and alone.

Yet, honestly, we don’t have to live the whole future in one day, and we don’t have to deal with everything alone. When running a long distance, we may feel tired and can’t imagine continuing to the end. Yet we know we can keep running now, and we can keep taking step after step. We don’t have to expend all of our energy in one burst. Our energy rebuilds along the path, even as we expend it. So it is with meeting the challenges of our lives. We take heart in knowing that we only have to deal with today. We are never alone because our creator is always with us.

Today I will cross over any difficulty I must face.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Life is so much easier if you ride the horse in the direction it’s going.

~ Anonymous ~

There is a pattern to our lives. Our Higher Power has always wanted the best for us. Had we trusted the natural flow of our experiences instead of trying to control people and outcomes, we’d have experienced less pain and lots more joy. It’s not that life won’t have difficult lessons to teach us on occasion. It will and they may hurt. But we must remember that God will never give us what we can’t handle and, furthermore, that we’ll have the guidance we need to meet our challenges.

Going against our inner urges never gives us peace. The wisdom that resides within is a gift from our Higher Power. Let’s never forget that.

I will be peaceful today if I follow the voice of my heart.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need help with my cravings

I don't like this state I'm in. All I can think about right now is using. And I'm tired of feeling scared and anxious. I just want some relief. At times like this, I don’t care if it's only temporary: changing my mood is all that matters.

Being hooked like this is painful, especially since the relief I get from drugs and alcohol doesn't last—I know that. My cravings just come back, sometimes stronger than before. So why does a part of me still believe in this lie? I read somewhere that this lie is part of the disease. I'm still confused. But I want to be clean and sober. I want to change my thinking and my behavior. I want to feel better.

My sponsor said I could call her anytime. I will pick up the phone now and ask for her help.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Running away may relieve our anxieties momentarily, but lasting ease requires our turning toward what we dread most. In dealing with fear, the way out is in.

~ Sheldon Kopp ~

Fear is a monster that is always at our backs until we turn to face it. Looking our dread in the face renders it powerless. It is not possible to be panic-stricken and honestly confront our fear at the same time.

Fear avoids sunlight and nurtures itself only in the dark comers of our lives. Taking our biggest fears out of the closet and exposing them earn us ten giant steps forward in the healing process.

We watch our fears lose their power one by one and fall away when exposed to the light of day. Sharing our secrets and fears with another human being, our sponsor, and in some cases our group, is like walking across a dark room and turning the light on. Often we find that the shadow in the corner has disappeared.

Today let me risk finding a safe person to tell some of my fears and secrets to.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If you mess up, fess up.

~ Author unknown ~

Self-respect is developed, in part, from your ability to accept and take full responsibility for your actions. Even when you make mistakes or behave badly, your willingness to own up to your part in such things makes you a better person. Your humility in being able to ask for forgiveness displays the depth of understanding you have for the hurt or harm you may have caused others.

But until you can take responsibility for your actions and place this responsibility squarely on your shoulders, you may spend the majority of your time looking for someone or something else to blame.

When you blame others you not only show them little regard, but you are, in essence, giving up on yourself. You may think that you are saving face by pointing a finger in another direction, but what you are really doing is pointing the finger at yourself. You are saying, “Look at me. I am someone who would rather find a scapegoat than take responsibility. I am not a person you can trust or respect.” And whenever you cannot trust or respect yourself, it will be hard for others to feel that way about you.

The power to grow self-respect is within me. I will own up to the problems that are mine and fix them.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Three . . . are my friends: [One] that loves me, [one] that hates me, [one] that is indifferent to me. Who loves me, teaches me tenderness. Who hates me, teaches me caution. Who is indifferent to me, teaches me self-reliance.

~ Ivan Panin ~

Not everyone is going to be a best friend. Some people will choose not to know us. Others may dislike us for whatever reason. Yet we can see these people as our friends by realizing each has something to offer.

We may be hurt when we realize not everyone likes us or wants to be our friend. But do we want to be friends with everyone? Certainly there are those we know who bore us, make us angry, or turn us off.

It's okay that everyone isn't our friend. We can learn from the one who dislikes us that there are aspects about our behaviors that some people won’t like. We can learn from those who don't care to pursue a friendship that not everyone can be there for us. Such people will also help us appreciate more the special people in our lives who are unquestionably our friends.

I know I have some very special friends in my life. Tonight I can be grateful for their support.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking just one

It’s that first fix, pill, or drink that gets us high. It’s not the second or third or fourth one, or the second day or the second week of using that gets us into trouble. It is the first one. And until we understand this concept, we will keep trying—without success—to gain control over our drug use.

For us, control no longer exists. And it never will. When we start thinking. Well, just one won’t hurt me, we are on our way back to that same pain and discouragement of a drug-filled life.

Do I believe that even one is too many?

Higher Power, please help me remember that I can never regain control over my drug use.

I will avoid taking that first drink or drug today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

As a body everyone is single, as a soul never.

~ HERMAN HESSE ~

Newcomer

I’ve been to so many meetings. Sometimes I feel as if I’m hearing the same things over and over again. When someone starts to speak, I feel tired in advance. I think, “Oh, no— now I’ve got to hear that war story again.”

Sponsor

At times, I’ve had similar feelings. I like to think of myself as a caring person, but the truth is that sometimes I feel as if I can’t stand being reminded of the suffering of others. Where’s my compassion?

I have a hunch that what’s going on for me at such times is that, as I hear about other people’s pain, I’m being reminded of my own. I don’t want to dwell on my history. I want to be unique, not like all those others. I want to reject my addictive past. I don’t want to hear reminders of what’s inside of me. And I can’t be patient and tender toward others if I’m not willing to be patient and tender toward myself.

But it’s healing to listen to others. When I open my awareness and begin to accept the truth of my own and others’ past suffering, my heart grows.

Today, I am aware of the presence of a Higher Power when I am in the presence of another person.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days we had sufficient knowledge to know that there was a better way of living, but it was beyond our wildest imaginings that such a life was possible for us. An idea that sprang from the imagination of Bill and Dr. Bob took root in our minds, and we became possessed of the knowledge that enabled us to convert our lives into lives beyond the limits of our imagination.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Make Us Strong—Native American

O our Father, the Sky, hear us and make us strong.
O our Mother, the Earth, hear us and give us support.
O Spirit of the East, send us Your wisdom.
O Spirit of the South, may we tread Your path.
O Spirit of the West, may we always be ready for the long journey
O Spirit of the North, purify us with Your cleansing winds.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE GRACIOUS WILL OF GOD

A tragic mistake that is often made is to assume that the will of God is bound to be something very dull and uninviting, if not positively unpleasant. Consciously or not some persons look upon God as a hard taskmaster, or a severe parent. Too often their prayers amount to something like this: "Please God, give me such-and-such a boon, which I sorely need—but I don't suppose you will, because you won't think it is good for me." Needless to say, a prayer of this sort is answered as all prayers are answered, according to the faith of the subject; that is to say, the boon is not granted. The truth is that the will of God for us always means greater freedom, greater self-expression, newer and brighter experience, wider opportunity of service to others—life more abundant.

God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God, in him (1 John 4:16).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Let It Be Easy

Life was never meant to be a struggle.

~ Stuart Wilde ~

A friend of mine invited author Arnold Patent to participate in a project she was sponsoring. After considering the invitation, Arnold told her, "I don't think I'll be a part of this venture. When I try the idea on for size, it feels like a struggle for me. My life is about ease."

My life is about ease. Now there is a powerful affirmation! Imagine how much more joyful and creative you would be if you refused to participate in anything that was a struggle, and relaxed into what you're doing so that it became a dance instead of drudgery. You might end up living heaven on earth!

Whenever you feel a sense of strain, ask yourself this question:

How would I be doing this differently if I were willing to let it be easy?

Letting it be easy does not mean sitting back, succumbing to laziness, and expecting everyone else to do everything for you. Letting it be easy means honoring your aliveness, acting from the place in you where life is meaningful, and releasing any notion that you must participate in activities that deaden you.

When you proceed from joy rather than rote obligation, you will have so much more creative energy and health that you will be infinitely more powerful to manifest the life you choose, and serve others in the process.

Lead me from struggle fo ease that t may reflect the Light of the world.

I magnify peace as I do what I love.