Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - July

[bluidkiti]

July 25

Step by Step

Today, self-pity comes off my dance card. Just as alcohol drove me to being sick and tired of being sick and tired, so it goes with self-pity. The reason for self-pity can never be justified. For me, self-pity ranks behind resentment as the quickest and surest way to a slip or relapse. I have to ask why I harbor pity for myself. Is it because I endured so many travails during and after my drinking days? Or maybe I lost a job or two, got a lifetime driver's license suspension, drank my way into a sea of debt, got a divorce or two, have family who still wants nothing to do with me. Or maybe there's a more "acceptable" reason like death taking too much from me. And what is the function of self-pity? Maybe my ego still requires me to be the center of attention, or maybe I have a victim complex, or maybe I'm looking for justification to start drinking again - or to keep drinking. Or maybe I simply don't know how to deal with whatever psychic pain exists. Whatever its reason or purpose, self-pity serves only to impose isolation and keeps me from feeling and living something better. Today, just as it did with drinking, the same goes for self-pity: enough's enough! And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SPIRITUAL

The 12 Step way of life is spiritual, not necessarily religious.

~ Anonymous ~

The journey to spirituality does not pass through any particular religious tradition. The spiritual life we speak of in recovery is not about the adoption of ceremony or conversion to a certain kind of organized thinking. Spirituality has to do with the quality of our relationship to whatever or whomever is most important in our life.

We come to the spiritual through our discovery of a Power other than ourselves. This Power is not something over which we have any personal control. We can only identify it as higher than we are. As we continue to work the Steps, our experience with our Higher Power grows. We trust the influence this Power has over our lives. Many of us feel comfortable calling this Power God. Some will continue their journey back into a particular religion.

Spirituality found within the Program is not religious. Each individual in recovery comes to terms with their own spirit-life in their own way, as I have come to terms with mine.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The pursuit of perfection often impedes improvement

~ George F. Will ~

When we are haunted by feelings of shame or self- loathing, anything less than perfection can remind us of those feelings. We seek straight A’s and when we succeed, we feel that it was only barely good enough. Sometimes we may even avoid trying something new because we refuse to make the necessary mistakes involved. In contrast, it is said that Persian rug weavers, in the course of creating their stunningly beautiful carpets, deliberately weave at least one mistake into every rug so as to not compete with God.

We could all take a lesson for our lives from those weavers. On a day when we are overcome by anxiety about making a mistake, we can be more relaxed and more effective if we start out deliberately intending to make at least one mistake before the day is over. That way, we can make a place for imperfection and go on from there to do our best and learn from the experience.

Today I will make a place for imperfection and learn from my mistakes.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Dare to be empty.
Dare to let go.
Dare to believe.

~ Elisabeth L. ~

We seldom receive a direct, visual experience of God. Most of us only sense a Presence, or perhaps see the evidence of God’s help. It takes profound faith to live moment by moment in the knowledge that God is always here.

The founders of AA understood how difficult it is to believe. The tools of this program can help us with our struggle. In using them, we let God guide us, protect us, comfort us, and take charge of everyone else too. Asking sponsors for examples of how they have let go will help us see our opportunities more clearly. Coupling their suggestions and experiences with practice at using the Steps and slogans will strengthen our willingness to turn to God for everything.

I will be able to let God take charge if I rely on the example and experience of the friends I know I can trust. Today can be easy.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am getting to know myself

Before I got into dual recovery, I usually didn't know what I was feeling. Often I didn't know what I wanted—except to avoid the pain of my emotional illness. I couldn't think things through, I just reacted impulsively. I was running away and running on automatic.

Now that I'm sober and stable, I am slowing down. My thinking is clearer and I'm recognizing more of my feelings (it's scary at rimes). In my support group, I have a safe place to find out what I want. In short, I am learning about myself through others who share my problems. Despite what I used to believe, I see that I am not alone and I am not a bad person.

I will write out a description of two things I've learned about myself this week.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

They will never do what I ask them to do!

~ Anonymous ~

Our urges to get others to do what we want them to do raises a very important question about our happiness and how we achieve it. They suggest that our satisfaction in life comes from outside ourselves, from having others always react the way we would like them to react. When others don’t react the way we want, we are outraged and disappointed. Life can be frustrating if our satisfaction always depends on how people react to us.

On the other hand, if we let go of the need to control others, or the need to have others always react and behave as we would have them react and behave, life is a lot easier and certainly less frustrating! Then, satisfaction comes from doing the best we are able to do in life, and not from how others react to us. Learning to let go takes time and faith in our Higher Power. But it is central to our recovery and peace of mind. Being responsible for our own lives now brings joy and freedom.

Today help me lead my life as best I can, and let others do the same with their lives.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I am filled with confidence, not that I shall succeed in worldly things, but that even when things go badly for me I shall still find life good and worth living.

~ Etty Hillesum ~

It can be impossible to achieve your goals and aspirations when you have little confidence in yourself. Whether your confidence is low because of the continual criticism you received as a child or a result of the accumulated failures, losses, and disappointments you experienced in your life, it can be reassuring to know that your confidence can always be built or rebuilt.

To begin you need to accept responsibility as the builder. While others can provide you with support, they don’t have the tools and materials.

To create this structure, you will need a large bucket of positivity. Negative thoughts are like bent nails; they go nowhere. So discard them and replace them with positive thoughts. You will also need assorted pieces of wood. A structure is composed of many smaller pieces of wood, not one enormous piece. So set small goals that can be easily achieved. The more you achieve, the greater your confidence will be. Finally, you will need a fresh coat of paint. When you take time on your outward appearance, you can feel better about yourself.

Today I will focus on building myself into a structure of self-confidence.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Anyhow, I say, the God I been praying and writing to is a man. And act just like all the other mens I know. Trifling, forgetful and lowdown.

~ Alice Walker, The Color Purple ~

When many of us first came into the program and heard the words "God" or "Higher Power," we may have wanted to walk out. We may have thought God a kind of heavenly scorekeeper who lived by "an eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth." But we learned in the program that Higher Power could be any image we chose. Some of us found it easier to picture a pleasurable image when we thought of God, like a mountain stream. Some of us began conversing with an "invisible" friend. We learned any image we chose was okay, as long as we believed a Power greater than ourselves could restore our sanity.

Some of us may still have trouble with the concept of a Higher Power. lf we remember we don't have to hold the negative images we grew up with, it may be easier to create a spiritual image with which we can be comfortable. Our Higher Power can be whatever or whomever we choose because it is a personal belief'

I can remember my Higher Power is my personal belief, not o religious dogma.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing the principles

Our program and its principles apply to every area of our lives. Sometimes people say that they would lose their livelihood if they applied the principles to their work. But this is probably not true and speaks of fear. If we must lie or be hypocritical in any area of our lives, then we are not applying the principles.

Once we realize that it is reassuring and rewarding—not threatening—to let God work through us all the time, we will feel genuine, we will feel integrity, we will feel at peace.

Do I practice these principles in all my affairs?

Higher Power, help me see whether any area of my life is missing the benefit of the principles.

The principle I will apply today in all my affairs is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Our most memorable days are marked by an absence of control.

~ PATRICIA SMITH ~

Newcomer

My financial situation has unexpectedly changed, and I might have to rethink certain plans. Even though I intend to follow the principles of the program—owning up to my responsibilities honestly and promptly—I can’t help feeling scared. I’m afraid to face certain people I have to change my arrangements with.

Sponsor

Though reliance on our Higher Power isn’t something we reserve just for emergencies, there’s nothing like a financial situation for the chance to exercise our faith.
When I was active in my addiction, the thought of powerlessness filled me with fear. I often lived as if I’d been cast in a melodrama whose inevitable outcome was shame and disgrace. Today, situations don’t have to assume the proportions of a crisis. I can go to a meeting and share, talk things over with trustworthy persons, and remember that I am more than my problem. If debt is involved, whether of money or time, I can own it honestly and set realistic goals to resolve it. Self-esteem and a sense of perspective make it possible to handle situations more calmly. I don’t pick up the old attitudes of my active life, any more than I would pick up an addictive substance.

We can face difficult situations with the sober confidence that comes from faith in our Higher Power and in the process of recovery. Today, I have the serenity that comes from living in faith, not fear.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Poverty will often force a man into sobriety because of the lack of funds with which to purchase more to drink. Prosperity on the other hand gives us the money, the leisure and inclination to celebrate that prosperity.

Far too frequently the new man climbs out of the gutter, gets a job and becomes re-established with his family, and does well until a payday puts cash in his pocket again.

That bank roll which you think you want may be the very thing you least want.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

A Useful Life

My Creator, You have examined my heart and know everything about me.
You chart the path ahead of me, and tell me where to stop and rest.
Every moment, You know where I am.
You know what I am going to say before I say it.
This is too glorious, too wonderful to believe!
I can never be lost to Your Spirit!
I can never get away from my God!
If I ride the morning winds to the farthest oceans, even there Your hand will guide me, Your strength will support me.
Search me, O God, and know my heart.
Test my thoughts;
Point out anything You find in me that makes You sad, and lead me along the path of a useful life.

~ Adapted from Psalm 139:1-10 and 23-24 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TAKING MATERIAL STEPS

When you set out to solve a problem by means of prayer you should take all the ordinary normal steps in addition. Do not simply pray and then sit down and wait for something dramatic to happen. For instance, if you are praying for a position, you should pray for it as well as you know how each day, and then go out and visit agencies or prospective employers, write applications, or insert advertisements in suitable periodicals.

If you want a healing, treat about it in whatever way you usually find to be best and, in addition, take whatever material steps seem to be appropriate.

If your business is not prospering, have a checkup to discover if you are managing it efficiently. If you find weak points, as you almost certainly will, you must correct them forthwith.

We certainly cannot expect ro go on breaking the laws of the plane on which we live, and expect prayer to compensate for this foolishness.

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might . . . (Ecclesiastes 9:10).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Right Mind' Right Time

Miracles wait not on time.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

Harbin Hot Springs is a lovely spa in the northern California mountains where the pace of life is slowed to a gentle flow. In that place, anxious rushing seems other-worldly by contrast. One morning on my way to the mineral baths, I saw a clever sign: If you are in a hurry, you are in the wrong place.

We can extrapolate that principle to all of life: If you are in a hurry, you are in the wrong consciousness. Hurry is usually motivated by fear and anxiety; we worry that we will be late or not have enough time to do what we need to do. Rushing is a symptom of lack thinking, indicating we believe in “not-enoughness.” The principle of abundance applies not only to money or things; it applies equally to time. If you know you live in an abundant universe, you trust that you have enough time to do what you need to do.

When we are in the consciousness of peace, time becomes elastic; it will expand or contract to accommodate our purpose. One Saturday I arrived at the post office to mail a package ten minutes before the noon closing time. When I reached the window, the clerk informed me that I had not sealed the box properly and that I would have to buy some tape. I decided I would not rush, and if Spirit wanted the package mailed, it would have to create time for it. I drove to a shopping center two blocks away, found the tape in the back of a department store, grabbed a package of laundry detergent on sale, paid for the items, and drove back to the post office, all at a relaxed pace. I arrived at two minutes to noon. Physically, what I accomplished seemed impossible, yet it had all gotten done in that time. The choice for peace creates miracles.

Help me to relax and move through my day with a sense of ease and joy.

I always have enough time to do what Spirit asks.