Today's Thought - May

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May 16

AA Thought for the Day

In AA we find fellowship and release and strength. And having found these things, the real reasons for our drinking are taken away. Then drinking has no more justification in our minds. We no longer need to fight against drink. Drink just naturally leaves us. At first, we are sorry that we can’t drink, but we get so that we are glad that we don’t have to drink. Am I glad that I don’t have to drink?
Meditation for the Day

Try never to judge. The human mind is so delicate and so complex that only its Maker can know it wholly. Each mind is so different—led to act by such different motives, controlled by such different circumstances, influenced by such different suffering—you cannot know all the influences that have gone to make up a personality. Therefore, it is impossible for you to judge wholly that personality. But God knows that person wholly and He can change it. Leave to God the unraveling of the puzzles of personality. And leave it to God to teach you the proper understanding.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not judge other people. I pray that I may be certain that God can set right what is wrong in every personality.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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May 17

Life is for enjoying. It is not a race to see how much you can get done.

~Jill Clark

Before we quit using alcohol and other drugs, we wasted precious hours, days, maybe years. Consequently, we feel we must make up for lost time. We make promises and commitments we don’t have the time or the energy to fulfill. This is a normal response to hindsight. After all, we missed many wonderful opportunities when our focus was on getting and staying high.

Making up for the past is different from making the most of each twenty-four hours. It’s not how much we accomplish in life but how we treat others along the way that counts. We can accomplish our daily tasks while being kind to other people. But choosing the latter as the more important action will bring a far greater sense of well-being than trying to move mountains.

I will get done everything I really need to do today if I focus on being kind to those who cross my path.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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May 18

Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies…

~Erich Fromm

A robin comes alive by breaking out of its shell. The small bird struggles to break out of the safety of the blue egg. Once out, it struggles to grow, slowly learning how to eat, walk, and fly.

We, too, struggle as we grow. There is brokenness in all of our lives—broken hearts and broken dreams. Yet these experiences open our way to a world of growing. We find comfort in the presence of a Power greater than ourselves, in the same way a baby bird finds warmth near the body of its mother. We, too, can grow stronger every day, learning to take in nourishment and trying out our new wings.

What struggles have made me as strong as I am today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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May 19

Each day provides its own gifts.

~Ruth D. Freedman

Life is full of wonderful gifts. Recovery is life’s greatest gift to us. If we’re not excited about being sober, we need to check on ourselves. Are we keeping something secret? Is there a sadness we need to talk about? Are we stuffing anger? These things eat away at our excitement for life.

Many addicts never get the gift of recovery. Those of us in recovery are special. We’ve been given a new life. There will be hard times. But the joy of getting a second chance will be stronger. Am I grateful that I’ve been given recovery?
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me see recovery as a gift. I deserve this gift because I’m human. Help me to always accept this gift.
Action for the Day

At the end of the day, I’ll list three gifts that this day has given me.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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May 20

Often the wisdom of the body clarifies the despair of the spirit.

~Marion Woodman

The unity of body and spirit becomes more real for us as we learn to listen to the messages our bodies give. Perhaps if we are frequently ill with a cold we are hiding from the fact that we are discouraged and in need of something for our spirit. We all face the problems at times of sleeplessness or backaches or allergies. These are not moral problems but problems that go with being human. When we are open to the spirit dimension, we look for the part that may express a message from our spiritual selves.

As we notice our physical selves today, we perhaps feel a tension in a muscle or a sensation somewhere that can speak to us about our deeper feelings. The message may not be clear at first. Spiritual messages are not quick answers, but if we listen to our questions a while, the answers may gradually become clear. Simply being open to the messages strengthens us for our tasks and deepens our spiritual self-awareness.

Today, I am learning to listen to the wisdom of my own body.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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May 21

From early infancy onward we all incorporate into our lives the message we receive concerning our self-worth, or lack of self-worth, and this sense of value is to be found beneath our actions and feelings as a tangled network of self-perception.

~Christina Baldwin

Lifting our self-esteem is not a particularly easy task for most of us. It's probable that again and again our confidence wavered before we sought help from the program. It's also probable that our confidence still wanes on occasion. The old fears don't disappear without effort.

But each day we can do some one thing that will help us to feel better about ourselves. All it takes is one small act or decision, each day. The program can give us the strength we need each day to move forward one step.

Today, I will do one thing I've been putting off. A whole collection of "one days" will lay the groundwork for the person I'm building within.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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May 22

Overcoming loneliness

Chances are, we considered ourselves loners when we came into the program. Some of us had divided the world into the people who hated us and the people who didn’t like us very much. Some of us felt very alone even though we knew people liked us.

We never have to be alone again, however. By staying sober, we gradually dissolve the walls we built around ourselves.

Have I stopped being a loner?

Lord, help me to do what I need to do to never be alone again.

I will avoid loneliness today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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May 23

Reflection for the Day

I know today that I no longer have to proceed on my own. I’ve learned that it’s safer, more sensible, and surer to move forward with friends who are going in the same direction as I am. None of us needs to feel shame at using help, since we all help each other. It’s no more a sign of weakness to use help in recovering from my addiction than it is to use a crutch if I have a broken leg. To those who need it, and to those who see its usefulness, a crutch is a beautiful thing. Do I sometimes still refuse to accept easily obtained assistance?
Today I Pray

Higher Power, make me see that it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help, that the camaraderie of the group is what makes it work for each of us. Like a vaccine for diphtheria or polio, the program and the strength of the group have proved themselves as preventives for slips and backsliding. For the tools of recovery, I praise my Higher Power.
Today I Will Remember

Help is as near as my phone.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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May 24

Trying to manage too much makes our lives unmanageable.

Efficiency is great! Accomplishments are, too. Being responsible and accountable are notable qualities. But demanding too much responsibility, accountability and efficiency of ourselves puts us on an activity treadmill that steals our peace of mind. When we try to manage everything, we soon feel overwhelmed, and our self-esteem plummets.

Getting well in this program means discovering that we don’t have to do anything to be okay. We don’t have to be good managers to be worthy. Taking responsibility for our actions is still necessary, but our Higher Power loves us regardless of how much we get done today. Our only real “assignment” is to love and be thoughtful of other people all day long.

If I can manage my actions toward others today, I will have done enough. That assignment I can handle.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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May 25

What panic makes you want to die?

~James Baldwin

The presence in our lives of love, success, growth, abundance, and recovery may disturb us. Such positive change may contradict what we once expected for ourselves.

Doubt, fear, and the urge for self-sabotage aren’t unusual when we begin experiencing profound changes for the good. It’s tempting to lapse into old thinking and old behavior patterns that, although they’re uncomfortable, are at least familiar to us.

But we needn’t surrender to self-destructive impulses. At such moments we can slow down and take deep breaths. We can acknowledge the darkness we’ve put behind us, affirming that our Higher Power does not wish us to return to it. Rather than acting on fear and doubt, we can talk with others who’ve been there and who remind us to believe in ourselves and in our Higher Power’s unconditional love for us. We can remain still for a time and absorb the sense of how far we’ve come. We can then continue moving forward on our chosen path.

Today, I needn’t let fear or doubt take charge of my thinking. I keep breathing and look toward the light.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day: Daily Meditations for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People*

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May 26

Intimacy

We can let ourselves be close to people.

Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closeness and intimacy.

When we start to feel close to someone, we may zero in on one of the person’s character defects, then make it so big it’s all we can see. We may withdraw, or push the person away to create distance. We may start criticizing the other person, a behavior sure to create distance.

We may start trying to control the person, a behavior that prevents intimacy.

We may tell ourselves we don’t want or need another person, or smother the person with our needs.

Sometimes, we defeat ourselves by trying to be close to people who aren’t available for intimacy—people with active addictions, or people who don’t choose to be close to us. Sometimes, we choose people with particular faults so that when it comes time to be close, we have an escape hatch.

We’re afraid, and we fear losing ourselves. We’re afraid that closeness means we won’t be able to own our power to take care of ourselves.

In recovery, we’re learning that it’s okay to let ourselves be close to people. We’re choosing to relate to safe, healthy people, so closeness is a possibility. Closeness doesn’t mean we have to lose ourselves, or our life. As one man said, we’re learning that we can own our power with people, even when we’re close, even when the other person has something we need.

Today, I will be available for closeness and intimacy with people, when that’s appropriate. Whenever possible, I will let myself be who I am, let others be who they are, and enjoy the bond and good feelings between us.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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May 27

Prayer

Who comes from prayer a better man, his prayer is answered.

~George Meredith

We learn that prayer is only a wish away. When we wished for recovery more than anything in the world, we found it. Thus our wishes became our prayers. It was that simple.

We discover in recovery that prayer is best when it is a conversation with a Higher Power. It isn’t just a one-way speech where we tell God what we expect to have happen. It isn’t a time to try to bargain with God. We listen as well as ask. Then meditation joins with prayer.

When life beats us to our knees, our only recourse is to stay on our knees and start praying.

When my prayers aren’t answered right away, that doesn’t mean that God is denying them. The answers will come in God’s time, not mine. The answers will be God’s answers, not mine.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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May 28

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day?to?day basis.

~Margaret Bonnano

It is said, “The moment is our link to eternity, to the Divine.” Recovery gives us many messages about living in the moment: “Easy does it,” “One day at a time,” and “Just for today.”

As active addicts, we used chemicals to alter our relationship with the present. By getting high, we lived disconnected from the moment. Now we are learning that the present moment is our best point of influence. In this moment, we can choose to act from our values or to betray our values. By living in the moment, we stay connected to our Higher Power and our values. With each new day of staying sober and living a life of principles before personality, we increase our chances of doing the same in the future.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, you are found in every moment. Help me seek you out in my everyday life, not in the past or in the future, but now.
Today's Action

Today I will practice living in the moment. If I find myself drifting into the past or the future, I will come back to the moment.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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May 29

I have never known any distress that an hour’s reading did not relieve.

~Michel de Montaigne

One of our tools of recovery is reading. Most of our groups have daily meditation books from which we read aloud, and many of us read a meditation each day at home. We find that the writing, short and compressed, helps us to collect our thoughts, and then our minds and feelings expand outward beyond our reading.

Reading is not only entertainment; it is a kind of silent conversation with ourselves. And as we browse through our favorite books, we carry on a dialogue with old friends. We are taken out of ourselves and moved more deeply into the process of living.

As addicts, we need this dialogue. Most of us are often locked away in our worlds of fantasy and fear. We need the kind of intimacy that can come from reading, and we need the interaction and stimulus that inspiring books give us. We can move out and talk about them with our friends and enlarge our circle of knowledge and experience.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to read, which takes me out of myself.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

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May 30

The sweet remembrance of the just
Shall flourish when he sleeps in dust.

~Nahum Tate and Nicholas Brady

Memorial Day is a time for solemn reflection on those who gave the ultimate gift—life itself—for our freedom. Depending on our own or our loved ones’ wartime experiences, this day comes and goes with much or little observance.

Recovering adult children can find meaning in this day by thinking of those who have gone before them—both those who died without knowing that recovery was possible and those who paid dearly for the opportunities we now have. The meetings we attend were started somewhere by someone who was, no doubt, hesitant and uncertain. The first people who identified themselves as adult children and struggled to tell their story may or may not still be alive. Most certainly they are little remembered, if they were ever known at all.

We have many blessings available to us today because someone was willing to pay the price yesterday. Let us gratefully remember those who cleared the path that we now walk.

Today, I feel at one with all adult children. I am grateful for the opportunities they created for me.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*