Sharing and Caring

[MajestyJo]

When I grew up, I was isolated on the farm. When I went to high school, I was really fearful as there were more kids in my home group than there were in the whole of my rural one-room school. It was a real culture shock. We had to catch the bus to come home so we never could participate in things. We lived 13 miles away and if you missed the bus you were out of luck.

When I came home at 26 from the city my father said, "You use to be such a quiet young thing and now you are making up for lost time." I had my party years from 26-31 when I remarried. That too was a lot of party time too, mostly at home or the Legion. I made myself get up and welcome strangers. It was like feel the fear and do it anyway, but back then I had alcohol to give me the courage. It became false courage and I no longer was an extrovert, I became an introvert.

I am so glad that I can socialize in today. I had a lot of healing to do. Service really helped me in this area.

When I got sober, if I spoke no one could here me. When I was using, I could get up and address a roomful of people and I was the Sports Officer and put on cribbage, darts, bowling and euchre tournaments.

When I first got up to speak, people were shocked that I could get up and tell my story. I still had a couple of members from my group, come into a large AA meeting and saw me in front of the group speaking,and couldn't believe it. They came up and gave me a hug, told me they were in shock and told me that they enjoyed my sharing.

For me, it is a miracle. I don't do the speaking, I am but a channel.