QUESTIONS???

[MajestyJo]

Today's thought is:
How will you dream if you don't sleep?
How will you hear yourself?
~Michael Dorris~

Sleep is a wonderful gift in our lives. For eight hours, we rest our bodies. We let the thoughts, feelings, and events of our lives tumble through our sleeping minds as they sort themselves through our dreams.

But dreams are not always happy. Some of us are afraid to sleep. Our dreams scare us. We may dream about using again or about bad things that happened. But we shouldn't let our dreams fool us. They are not reality. They are just feelings, thoughts, and memories working themselves out. In early recovery, there are a lot of things to sort out.

We create the reality of our lives by the choices we make when we are awake: how much we trust in our Higher Power, how we care of ourselves, how we treat others, how we work our program.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me listen to the messages of my dreams. Help me understand that my dreams will get better as my life gets better.

Today's Action

I will listen to my dreams. What is my mind working out in my sleep? If I remember my dreams, I will talk about them with my wide-awake friends.


You are reading from the book:


God Grant Me... by Anonymous

Copyright 2005 by Hazelden Foundation.

I was told that it wasn't so much what you saw in a dream, but what you were feeling. Often our dreams speak to us, and a using dream is a warning that you are heading toward relapse and it was time to get back to basics. Ask yourself, what have I stopped doing, what do I need to add to my program? What is no longer working for me and what do I need to change?

[MajestyJo]

Recovery is a bit like school.



There is more to staying clean than mere abstinence, as any

recovering addict can tell you. We have to take an active role in our

recovery in order to succeed in the long run.



Not only that, but recovery is a learning experience. Period. When we

first get clean, we have no idea about how to live life clean. We

don't know how to play by the rules anymore. So recovery is all about

learning. We learn how to get through tricky situations without

relapsing. We learn how to have fun again without using. We learn how

to reach out and connect with others in recovery in order to stay

strong. And so on. It's all one big learning experience.



So how do we know what kind of progress we're making in our recovery?

Let's just check out our recovery report card.



You'll notice that "Math" and "History" are not on this report card

The subjects in the school of recovery are a bit different, of

course.



And what is most interesting about the school of recovery is that

most people get a bit mixed up. They think, for example, that one of

the subjects might be "serenity," or even "maintaining abstinence."

These are outcomes of a successful learning experience, but they are

not the lesson itself.



So what are the lessons? The answer to this would vary depending on

what program you are following. I would argue that any decent program

will have the following three "subjects" at a bare minimum:



1) Caring for yourself - This has to become a priority. Low self

esteem plagues struggling addicts and it becomes

necessary to repair it in order to maintain recovery. Without doing

so, the temptation to relapse will be too great.



If you were in recovery school, the category of "caring for self"

would be more than just one subject or one class..it would be an

entire curriculum; something you could major in at college. We need

to start caring for ourselves on a whole number of different levels.

This is the holistic approach to recovery and well being.



It's pretty easy to tell if you are struggling in this area, because

your progress here will be a reflection of how you feel about

yourself. When I first got clean , I needed to do some work

in this area. It took time to rebuild my self-worth. It took time for

me to start treating myself with respect (for example, by quitting

smoking).



2) Networking with others - Especially important in early recovery,

in order to build support systems that will get you through the tough

times. Perhaps you've fallen out of touch with others in recovery

lately, and your grades have slipped a bit in this class? In that

case, find a way to reach out and reconnect.



3) Push for person growth - Again, the subject of personal growth

could not possibly be covered with just a single class in school. It

would more likely be an entire series of courses, spanning topics

such as:



* Knowing your triggers and slippery situations

* Overcoming self-pity and resentment

* Learning to forgive and let go of anger

* Fitness and nutrition

* Quitting smoking

* Emotional balance

* Social skills and support



I would equate personal growth with doing your homework. If you don't

get active with this subject and really push yourself, it's unlikely

that you will make any significant progress. I also think that

personal growth mirrors the homework concept because it might seem to

be irrelevant to your recovery (just like kids might think some

homework is pointless), but pursuing personal growth indirectly helps

you to stay clean in the long run.



What does your report card look like?

So now that you've seen the general subjects, what does your report

card look like? Do you need to spend more time studying, or have you

aced your recovery?

Author Unknown


Found this on another site, gave me some food for thought, how about you?

Al-Anon. I qualify for AA and NA, and yet I had 3-33 reasons to go to Al-Anon, when I was going to meetings. Now I am online, it is 3-333.

[MajestyJo]

Think a new thought



Think a new thought, and the whole world changes in front of your eyes. Adopt a new perspective, and you enter a new reality.
What seems to be out there is precisely your perception and interpretation of what's out there. And as such, you can truly make it whatever you choose.

At your core is a purpose that provides an endless source of energy. It is new and bright and sparkling in every moment.

Seek to know the truth of that purpose, and notice how it feels so very right. Let it be the lens through which you see all else.

Know where you are coming from, and you will know where to go. Know where to go, and you will be there.

-- Ralph Marston

Look at the whole picture, what do you see?

[MajestyJo]

Sobriety is soundness of mind.

I have to work on my soundness of mind daily.

That means my emotional sobriety. I haven't had a drink in 24 years. That means I am sober.

Do you have emotional hangovers from the day before?

Do you lay your emotions to rest when you go to bed at night or do you pick them up when you get up in the morning?

What do you do with your emotions? Do you acknowledge them? Do you ignore them? Perhaps you pick up a cigarette or decide you are hungry?

Are you feeling comfortable being with yourself or are you feeling a little antsy? Do you need to pick up a book or turn the TV on? Do the normal programs no longer satisfy your mind and your normal routine not fill up your mind. Is something leaking into your mind that you don't want there that you are wanting to avoid? Just maybe you should look at it, perhaps it is a sign.

Maybe your God is giving you a little nudge.

I thought these sites were closed (The Five As and Soundness of Mind). I have been telling everyone they were. The format is changed, and I am not sure if I can respond to anythings posted here, but I felt led here tonight, so there must have been a very good reason.

[MajestyJo]

Ain't it the truth!?

Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 166 years ago?

California became a state.
The State had no electricity.
The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California is today, except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.

Received with thanks from my friend Daryl.



This reminds me of all the old tapes and thou shall nots that I grew up with. Those things you didn't mention, talk about or let on that you knew anything about.

Those feeling you didn't act on and stuffed. Those actions you wanted to take, but didn't because it wasn't considered "proper."

What is reality? How can it be real if it is not mentioned or acknowledged?

The lack of emotion and showing that you cared. I was not huggable when I came into recovery. I use to say, "I don't do hugs." Today, I ask, "Do you do hugs?" I feel like I brought the hug to AA. That may be an ego thing, but there weren't very many of them going around when I got here several twenty-four hours ago.

As they say in NA, "Hugs not drugs!" What ever your drug of choice may be. (Work, food, gambling, computer, relationships, alcohol, drugs, exercise, religion, etc......) My drug of choice was always more.

Some people say, "Well it wasn't my drug of choice." I find that when I become addicted to something, it can lead me back to that drug of choice. I also have found that my drug of choice is no longer working for me, so I have to add more, be it a different alcoholic beverage or I start a pill, pot, or food maintenance program.

[MajestyJo]

Did you pick up a Recovery Tool in today?

Tools of Sobriety (Soundness of Mind) Something we all need, no matter what fellowship we belong to.

Monday, September 22, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Kindness and intelligence don't always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps.

—Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

Being human means we'll have hard times along with pleasant ones. Whether with friends, at school, or at home, we'll find reasons for sadness or anger as easily as for laughter. In every part of our lives, we're offered just what we need for growth.

Being the best we know how to be doesn't mean we'll escape confusion or pain. Through the troubling times we learn to trust in a Higher Power; we learn patience; we learn to let go and let God decide outcomes. The troubling times offer us growth and serenity, our keys to happiness.

What hidden gifts will I find in today's troubles?

Some of many more posted on the site:


90 TOOLS FOR SOBRIETY



1 ) Stay away from that first drink, taking the 1st step daily.

2 ) Attend AA, or the fellowship of your choice, regularly and get involved.

3 ) Progress is made ONE DAY AT A TIME.

4 ) Use the 24 Hour plan.

5 ) Turn your "dis-ease" to a sense of ease. Picture yourself as "recovered."

6 ) Do first things first.

7 ) Don't become too tired.

8 ) Eat at regular hours.

9 ) Use the telephone. (not just after the fact but during too.).

10) Be active - don't just sit around. Idle time will kill you.

11) Use the Serenity Prayer.

12) Change old routines and patterns.

13) Don't become too hungry.

14) Avoid loneliness.

15) Practice control of your anger.

16) Air your resentments.

17) Be willing to help whenever needed.

18) Be good to yourself, you deserve it.

19) Easy does it.

20) Get out of the "IF ONLY" trap.

21) Remind yourself HOW IT WAS. Your last drunk, the feelings etc. Picture better alternatives.

22) Be aware of your emotions. Reason about them.

23) Help another in his/her recovery, extend your hand, listen.

24) Try to turn your life and your will over to your Higher Power.

25) Avoid all mood-altering drugs, read labels on all medicines.

26) Turn loose of old ideas.

27) Avoid drinking situations/occasions.

28) Replace old drinking buddies with new AA buddies.

29) Read the Big Book.

30) Try not to be dependent on another (sick relationships). Be independent or inter-dependent.

31) Be grateful, and when you're not, make a GRATITUDE list.

32) Get off the "Pity Pot"...the only thing you'll get is a ring

around your bottom if you don't.

33) Seek knowledgeable help when troubled and or otherwise.

34) Face it! You are in control of your destiny.

35) Try the 12 and 12, not just 1 and 12 or 1, 12 and 13!

36) Let go and Let God.

37) Use the "God box." (Write down your worries and problems. Put them in the God box. Once you've done so, you can no longer think about them for that day. Use God's answers: yes, no, or wait, I have something better in store for you. Don't forget to say thanks.

38) Find courage to change through the example of others who have.

39) Don't try to test your will power. When in doubt, DON'T. (Or don't, yet.)

40) Live TODAY, not YESTERDAY, not TOMORROW - projection is planning

the results before anything even happens.

41) Avoid emotional involvements the first year - you end up putting

the other person first and lose sight of "your" program.

42) Remember, YOU ARE NOT YOUR DIS-EASE. So, take it easy on yourself.

43) Rejoice in the manageability of your new life.

44) Be humble--Humility is not in thinking of yourself more, but in

thinking more of yourself less often. Watch the ego.

45) Share your experience, strength and hope as much as possible and as creatively as possible.

46) Cherish your recovery.

47) Dump your garbage regularly - GIGO = Garbage In Garbage Out.

48) Get plenty of "restful" sleep.

49) Stay sober for you - not someone else - otherwise it won't work.

50) Practice rigorous honesty with yourself and others.

51) Progress is made ONE DAY AT A TIME, not 10 years in one day!

55) Make no major decisions the first year.

56) Get a sponsor and use him/her.

57) Know that no matter what your problems, someone's had them before.

Don't be afraid to share, as a problem shared is one 1/2 solved.

58) Strive for progress not perfection.

59) When in doubt ask questions. The only stupid question is the one

not asked.

60) Use prayer and meditation.

61) Maintain a balance: spiritual, physical, emotional and mental.

62) Don't use other substances as a maintenance program.

63) Learn to take spot check inventories.

64) Watch out for the RED FLAGS ... things that give excuses for poor

behavior and inevitable relapse.

65) Know that its okay to be human ... just don't drink over it.

66) Be kind to yourself; it's about time, don't you think?

67) Don't take yourself so seriously - take the dis-ease seriously!

68) Know that whatever it is that's causing pain - it shall pass.

69) Stay as far away from the DRY DRUNK SYNDROME as humanly possible.

70) Don't give away more than you can afford oo, your sobriety comes

first and must be the number 1 priority. Protect it at all costs.

71) Take down those bricks from the wall around you; you'll be able to

see the daylight better. Let people know who you are.

72) Get a home group and attend it regularly.

73) Know that the light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming

train, but actually a ray of hope. Drop the negativity.

74) Know that you are not alone, that's why the "We" is in the steps.

75) Be willing to go to any lengths to stay and be sober.

76) Know that no matter how bleak and dark your past may be, your

future is clean, bright and clear if you don't drink today.

77) Stay out of your own way.

78) Don't be in a hurry--remember "TIME = Things I Must Earn".

79) Watch the EGO. "EGO = Ease God Out".

80) Protect your sobriety at all costs. Keep the light on you.

81) Learn to listen, not just hear. Be open-minded and nonjudgmental.

82) Know that if your insides match your outsides, everyone looks good.

83) If the rest of the world looks bad, check yourself out first.

84) Gratitude is in the attitude.

85) When all else fails ... punt! Up the number of meetings!!!

86) Remember FEAR = FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL!

87) If they knew better, they'd do better. Think about letting things go.

88) Handle what you can and leave the rest, don't overtax yourself.

You can only accomplish so much in a given 24 hours.

89) Honesty and consistency are key factors in recovery.

90) Let the little kid in you out - learn how to laugh from the gut.

-adapted from ideas by Bob

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Melody Beattie ©

Self Care

I dont precisely know what you need to do to take care of yourself. But I know you can figure it out.
--Beyond Codependency

Rest when youre tired.

Take a drink of cold water when youre thirsty.

Call a friend when youre lonely.

Ask God to help when you feel overwhelmed.

Many of us have learned how to deprive and neglect ourselves. Many of us have learned to push ourselves hard, when the problem is that were already pushed too hard.

Many of us are afraid the work wont get done if we rest when were tired. The work will get done; it will be done better than work that emerges from tiredness of soul and spirit. Nurtured, nourished people, who love themselves and care for themselves, are the delight of the Universe.

They are well timed, efficient, and Divinely led.

Today, I will practice loving self-care.

This reminds me of my sister and my brother-in-law. She didn't go to the doctor until her diabetes was out of control. He went in the hospital on Monday with an appendix that had perforated. They are so busy minding other people's business and not taking care of themselves. They always seem to put other people first. not in a healthy way, but when they focus on others they don't have to look at themselves and their relationship.

My sister especially likes assuming the martyr and victim role, in the present and blames her past relationship on others, especially our mother. I am so grateful for the program that it gave me the freedom to let go and take care of myself.

So grateful that I could identify with ACoA, it was like looking in a mirror. I went to AA for my denial and it took me a long time to get honest and admit to the fact that I qualified for both fellowships. As they say, that is H.O.W. HOW IT WORKS. Me getting honest with me, keeping an open mind, and willing to change and look at all areas of my life in order to recover.

Do I do the do things for my recovery. I have to 'have it' in order to give it away. How can I give away what I don't have?

[MajestyJo]

Today's thought is:

Reflection for the Day

The Program is a road, not a resting place. Before we came to The Program -- and, for some of us, many times afterward -- most of us looked for answers to our living problems in religion, philosophy, psychology, self-help groups, and so on. Invariably, these fields held forth the goals that were precisely what we wanted; they offered freedom, calm, confidence and joy. But there was one major loophole: They never gave us a workable method of getting there. They never told us how to get from where we were to where we were supposed to be. Do I truly believe that I can find everything that I need and really want through the Twelve Steps?

Today I Pray

May I know that, once through the Twelve Steps, I am not on a plane surface. For life is not a flat field, but a slope upward. And those flights of steps must be taken over and over and remembered. May I be sure that once I have made them totally familiar to me, they will take me anywhere I want to go.

Today I Will Remember

The Steps are a road, not a resting place.

Reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

So many people don't seem to realize that once you get to Step "Whatever" the journey isn't over, it is a process. It doesn't stop at Step Twelve. It doesn't stop at Step Three because we don't want to do a Step Four. It doesn't end at Step Four because we don't want to tell a living soul. It doesn't stop at Steps Six because I know my defects, I am suppose to find a willingness and a desire to let them go. I can't stop without doing an amend to myself, my God, my friends and family.

Steps Ten, Eleven and Twelve are maintenance steps. You have to do the others to be able to have something to maintain. They are steps to be worked, just in today. As we get honest, as we heal, as we grow, the process goes on, and the road continues. We may make some detours along the way, but God willing, we will get back on the road and follow a path to recovery.

May I continue to have the willingness to take the Steps and apply them to my life in today.

[MajestyJo]

I was told that when you it a rough patch, get back to basics, Step One. What did you do when you first came into recovery? Go to meetings, call your sponsor, read the literature, pick up the phone call a friend or a family member. Get out of self and help someone else.

Do you believe in angels?

May you continue to grow in the Fellowship of the Spirit. May the White Light of Love shone on you each day and bring you health, happiness, and prosperity.

This angel picture will change daily. Come to visit each day and receive the blessings that are given to you by your Earthly and Guardian Angels.

[MajestyJo]

If you had to pick one of the 12 steps that helped change your life for the better, which one would it be?


For me the Steps are about living today, I don't have to take them off the shelf, they are a part of me and tools to help me with life and it makes itself known, one moment at a time.

Several years ago a person asked me if I worked the Steps in today, and my response was "some days, all 12!" As I grew in awareness, I was able to apply them to a higher degree of effectiveness than I did when I was new in recovery.

As I heard someone say today, I am person in progress and I don't have be perfect, just make it my higher aim.

This was posted on another site in 2005. It is hard to believe that it is 11 years later, and I still think the same thing.

Without one step, I set myself up for recovery. Only choosing the one I want, keeps me in danger of relapsing. The following is a post made by a friend and used with her permission.

[MajestyJo]

Picking just one Step ummm that's tough for me they are ALL important. Some days it's the 1,2,3 waltz somedays its all the steps. Just narrowing it down to one for me is almost impossible. Each step has given me different values and different strengths.

One gave me the knowledge of just how little I control and just how crazy I am.

Two reminded me there is a God and He can help.

Three let me know I can make decisions, and that each persons belief system is, or could be different from my own.

Four made me take a good long look at myself the good. bad, and the ugly.

Five I had to share myself with God and another person

Six Finding the willingness to ask God for help

Seven Asking God for help

Eight Listing all the persons in my life who I hurt

Nine Saying I am sorry

Ten looking at myself daily to see if I am on the right track

Eleven Staying in touch with God DAILY

Twelve working the program in everything I do

For me there is no separating these steps. Yes I may have the need to work one particular step more than another but they all build one upon another. And without a foundation the house would come tumbling down.

Just my humble opinion but I think we each work the steps we need at any given moment according to where we are in our recovery and our lives.

Lildee

The Steps mean different things to different people. It is also a disease of perception. As a friend of mind said, "Put it on the shelf until you find someone who needs it and you can pass it on. Sometimes it is easy to give advice, but hard still to listen to yourself and apply your own words to your life. As I like to say, knowing the words mean nothing if you don't take them off the page or the post and apply them to your life. It is a living program and the 12 Steps guide me to a new way of life.

[MajestyJo]

Sing your own song

"Since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable."

-- Brenda Ueland

Great forces are directing you to conform to the patterns of your society. You have DNA that has been handed down from generation to generation, coding repeated behaviour patterns into your being. You have archetypal energies setting the standards for how you behave as a man or a woman, as husband or wife, as father or mother .... You are immersed in consensual reality, whereby the world around you reflects societal understanding of how life has been and is to be.

At the same time, you have an even greater force within you inspiring you to wake up and recognize the reality of who you are. This force, the creative power underlying the entire universe, is urging you to create brand new standards of reality.

The status quo is blind to our creative power. Create a brand new world for yourself, one that meets your deepest needs, and you will help raise the quality of consciousness of the entire world.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

-- Gandhi

Why are you here? Open to more meaning and fulfillment by exploring your life purpose.

Higher Awareness - used with permission

Not sure these are based on 12 Step Recovery. A member asked for meditation that was spiritual in nature and not religious, something she could relate to.

We can not balance ourselves to the world and the people around us. All we can do is balance ourselves, be centered and connect to what I call my Higher Self, the part of me that connects to my God.

Don't think the world around us in today is what it is suppose to be and is a good example of goodness. We need to detach from that in order to find peace. Goodness is there if we choose to look for it. So much of it is covered up and losing it's importance in the great scheme of things in today, which seems to be 'more' and all based on the almighty dollar instead of an Almighty God.

Do you have a song to sing?

[MajestyJo]

DAILY OM

Meeting Of The Minds
Fragments Of The Self

Sometimes it feels as if we have many different people living inside of us, expressing themselves in voices that seem distinct from one another. There is the inner child with its wants and needs, the angry voice that expresses its opinion and probably several more as well. With all these different parts of ourselves express differing desires and needs and opinions, we may begin to feel as if we have no clarity. It is difficult to know which voices to pay attention to and which ones to ignore or dismiss. Even if we manage to move forward amidst the confusion, doubts and concerns may linger in our psyches simply because they have not been fully expressed and examined. As a result, we may have trouble being at peace with the decisions we do make.

One way to handle this dilemma is to consciously make time for a meeting of the minds within our psyche. This can be done as a guided meditation or as a journaling exercise. In both we can summon the many fragments that make up the whole of who we are and give them each a chance to speak. This can be a helpful tool in the face of a decision we need to make, and it can also be a fruitful path to take in the interest of self-exploration and self-care. When we gather the many fragments of our psyche together, the health and power of the whole is greatly increased.

We can imagine a roundtable in which we gather all the various representatives of our being, allowing them to name themselves and giving them a chance to speak. We allow each one to weigh in, fully expressing the perspective they represent, and we listen without comment. As we listen, we may be amazed at the wisdom and energy stored in these fragments of our self. This gathering brings the fragmented pieces of our psyche into a closer relationship, enabling us to move forward as a unified whole.

What do you think?

When I came into recovery, I was very fragmented. I was a broken being that had lost herself and had lived her life through others and every time I picked up a substance or a man, I lost a piece of myself. The greated gift that recovery has given me is myself. To become whole and one with my God, myself, and with those around me.

[MajestyJo]

The Language of Letting Go

Affirmations

One of our choices in recovery is choosing what we want to think - using our mental energy positively.

Positive mental energy, positive thinking, does not mean we think unrealistically or revert to denial. If we don't like something, we respect our own opinion. If we spot a problem, we're honest about it. if something isn't working out, we accept reality. But we don't dwell on the negative parts of our experience.

Whatever we give energy to, we empower.

There is magic in empowering the good, because whatever we empower grows bigger. One way to empower the good is through affirmations: simple positive statements we make to ourselves: I love myself... I'm good enough... My life is good...I'm glad I'm alive today... What I want and need is coming to me... I can...

Our choice in recovery is not whether to use affirmations. We've been affirming thoughts and beliefs since we were old enough to speak. The choice in recovery is what we want to affirm.

Today, I will empower the good in myself, others, and life. I'm willing to release, or let go of, negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. I will choose what I want to affirm, and I will make it good.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

It is my belief that we often overlook a lesson by ignoring the negative. A lesson can be learned and I believe that a negative can be changed into a positive. Nothing is all positive or all negative. There is negative to be found in the positive too if we are honest and truly look at ourselves.

For me, it isn't reality to only look at the parts of ourselves that we like, they can be few and far between, it is about looking at the parts of ourselves we don't like and affirming ourselves and changing them according to our God's Will, and with His help, we can change and become a person we can love and learn to like. The like is the hard part. I know I am loved, but not always liked.

[MajestyJo]

“Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”

In the past, being right was my priority! That was when I was married and that was 30 years ago.

Sometimes I feel it is important to stand up for what I believe in. I would be unhappy if I devalued who I am and what I believe in and yet, I don't have to argue to the extent that I invade someone else's space, disrespect someone else as a person, or judge somone by what they believe and think my way is the only way.

It is again about agreeing to disagree. That makes me happy.

Happiness is a choice. A few years ago someone said to me, "You are not happy." I had to look at it and saw it was from their perspective. It might not have been always Hip, Hip, Hurrah! Yet just being able to be in the moment and enjoy it for what it is, makes me happy in today.

An attitude of gratitude goes along way to my happiness in today. As they say, compromise is a good thing. We not only need to learn to give, we need to learn to receive.

Don't want my happiness at the expense of others. It depends on what I need to do to maintain my happiness. I don't want to be abused and disrespected as a person, it is about setting boundaries, often lately, it has been about negotiating them.