Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - August

[bluidkiti]

August 27

Step by Step

"I will never know all the people I hurt, all the friends I abused, the humiliation of my family, the worry of my business associates or how far-reaching it was. I continue to be surprised by the people I meet who say, 'You haven't had a drink for a long time, have you?' The surprise to me is the fact that I didn't know that they knew my drinking had gotten out of control. That is where we are really fooled. We think we can drink to excess without anyone knowing it. Everyone knows it. The only one we are fooling is ourselves. We rationalize and excuse our conduct beyond all reason." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Stopped in Time," Ch 10 ("It Might Have Been Worse"), p 376.

Today, may my experience with "hiding" serve as a hint that I'm hiding nothing and fooling no one but myself about my drinking. If I am drinking today, let me give up the illusion that no one is paying attention and turn my energies that I expend on "hiding" to sobering up. And if I am not drinking, let me consider that I may have missed in my Eighth Step people to whom I owe amends because I may not know or remember who I have hurt. To them, my greatest amend may be continued abstinence. Today, if I am hiding, let me see that I am hiding in plain sight and, if I can't remember all the people who are owed amends, let me make them by staying sober. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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The Eye Opener

Everyone agrees that excessive drinking is an evil. The alcoholic is convinced that for him it is a necessary evil. He thinks he would surely die if he didn't drink. We know now that it only appeared necessary while we were doing our thinking with our appetites.

No evil is necessary except in the sense that friction is. Without it, we couldn't get traction and without traction we could not move onward and upward.

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Around the Year with Emmet Fox

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him (Revelation 6:8).
The first horse is the Pale Horse and "pale" stands for the physical body. If you live but for the body, there is nothing but hell awaiting you on this plane or anywhere else. The body is the mot cruel taskmaster of all, when it is allowed to be the ruler. The Pale Horse indicates all other physical addictions too--what the Bible sometimes calls the "world"--money, position, material honors. Whoever lives for worldly pursuits is the rider on the Pale Horse.

And there went out another horse that was red" and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth (Revelation 6:4).
The Red Horse is you r emotional nature, your feelings. It is dangerous to allow your emotions to have control. This does not mean that emotion is a bad thing in itself. Uncontrolled emotion is a bad thing. A strong emotional nature is a splendid endowment if you are the master, but if it is mastering you, you are riding the Red Horse.

...And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand (Revelation 6:5).
A pair of scales is here a symbol of unbalance. The Black Horse stands for the intellect. Riding the Black Horse is letting your intellect dominate to the exclusion of the emotional, and especially of the spiritual, nature. It is a good thing to have the intellect well trained, but it is a misfortune to let it be the master. Western civilization has been definitely riding the Black Horse since the close of the Middle Ages. Humanity has developed scientific, intellectual knowledge far beyond the point to which it has developed the moral and spiritual understanding of the race.