MIXED BAGGAGE

[MajestyJo]

GOD IS EVERYWHERE



See, the Lord hath made us by His mighty pow’r,
And He watches o’er us every day and hour;
This we do remember when we kneel in prayer,
God is up in heaven, God is everywhere.

Refrain:
God is everywhere, yes, God is everywhere,
God is in the valley, God is in the air;
God is in the mountain, God is in the sea,
Anywhere we may go, there God will be.

Nothing can we hide from His all-seeing eye,
Whether on the land, or in the sea or sky;
Darkness cannot hide us from His blessed face,
For His holy presence dwells in every place.

All our words and thoughts are to Him fully known,
We shall surely reap the deeds that we have sown;
From Thy holy presence we can never flee,
For the day and night are both the same with Thee.

Look down in our hearts, Lord, let us see today
If there should be in us any wicked way;
Help us ever serve Thee with a Godly fear,
Help us know that Thou art present everywhere.

[MajestyJo]

When we belive in something and we do it out of love, and we bring our whole selves to it.

When we support a cause or event for the honor and the glory, we bring an empty shell because our motive and intent behind the action isn't good.

Today I share because I care. I don't share because I am people pleasing and looking for credit, I am hoping that we can build unity and a family together and work as one, no matter what Twelve Step fellowship we belong to. They all originated with Bill and Dr. Bob. The news was spread to their wives and to others, and to many people around the world.

I think they would be very overwhelmed by the growth that has happened as a result of some divinely inspired words written sixty years ago, which has allowed so many people to grow mentally, emotional, spiritual and physically, into new people and given the chance for a new way of life.

There spirit lives on, and as they said, AA will die from within not from without. The without is growing, but I am seeing sad things in recovery today. I see a lot of people not bringing themselves to the original cause of AA, to carrying the message, but to get what they need out of it and not willing to think of those who come behind them.

Someone took time for me, I hope I never get to a stage in my recovery where I think that my debt has been paid in full. Personally, I know that I will never live that long. The gifts alone which I have received, let alone the chance at a new way of life is beyond price.

Something I posted on another site in 2004. I still feel the need to share and give back. AA gave me purpose and a reason for living. I don't ever want to let that go. I can't go back to where I come from, for me to pick up and use is to die.

I still need to find balance in my life and work on my emotional sobriety.

[MajestyJo]

This is

This is a day that is like no other. This is a moment in which you can make great things happen.

This is a world full of challenge and opportunity. This is a life that's overflowing with possibilities.

This is your chance to make a real, positive difference. This is the time that is yours to fully live.

This is reality, and it is filled with promise. This is when you can begin to make your most treasured dreams real.

This is the place where your choices have brought you. This is your first step toward the best you can imagine.

This moment, this world, this life that you're in can be whatever you decide to make of it. This is your reminder to make it great.

-- Ralph Marston

Like this, all I have is today to build the spiritual defense I need against that first drink/drug.

[MajestyJo]

Grief

So often we live for others because we have no purpose or self-worth of our own. We think that we are useless and not a very good member of society, especially when we are disabled and can't get out and socialize.

We all have a purpose in this life, if for no other reason than to share with others. I sometimes think we are links, in the vast chain of this Universe, connecting one soul with another.

All we are asked to do is to have faith the size of a mustard seed, it is all that is required to connect and ask for what we need, one day at a time.

In today, I am a recovering alcoholic. I have recovered from that hopeless state of mind and body. I can go out and be a useful member of society and mix with "Earthlings" and live happy, joyous and free. Not free from pain, but a free spirit who is capable of dealing with her pain, one day at a time. I am not alone. I try to live my life for myself and my Higher Good, not to please others, but to please God. All I ask of myself of today is to be the best me I can be today and I know that all my God asks me to do today is try. Many times I fall short, but I take those shortcomings to Him and as I travel this journey and road of recovery, I will try to continue to share my findings along the way.

When I came into recovery, I had to let go of my best friend, my survivor tool, my comfort zone and learn a new way of living. Early recovery is a big part of grief work. You need to be honest with your doctor. That sadness and depression is normal, it doesn't need a pill or a quick fix, it needs the 12 Steps of recovery. Any loss in our lives, be it the death of a loved one, an old way of living, an old coping skills, or just a change in attitude, it all brings grief to our lives and something we need to learn to deal with.

The holidays are a time of grief for many people because of Christmas Past. We need to learn to let go and live in today. It isn't just Christmas, there are many holiday in our lives.

Whenever we have a change in routine, a change in how we are able to do things, a change in our normal activities in a day, we go through a grief process.

I sometimes forget this and wonder why I am experiencing several emotions; and then when i identify them, I recognize the fact that I am going through grief. I am a great one for bargaining, even today the doctor told me to relax, and he told me to put my head back and he told me I was nosey because I wanted to know. He said it was for him to know and he will tell me afterward. A little bit of a control issue going on. I wanted to see what he was up to.

Don't want him causing me grief. My trust issues were raising their ugly head too. So glad this is one day at a time and progress not perfection. I had to change doctors twice, one in early recovery because doctor had been my supplier. The second one I just couldn't connect with. He kept asking me if I had smoked or drank. It was like talking to a wall.

Time is a great healer and what stuck out for me were the words, "How we use that time." In the past, I spent my time using people, places and things to avoid looking at what I needed healed.

In recovery, I have done meditations asking for the healing. I have sat here, with my candles on, and the tears running down my face, not always knowing the source of the pain that was healed, just knowing that my God saw fit to allow me that healing.

So much was buried, so much of it not recognized at the time of it's happening, so much of it denied because I didn't want to look at it.

What I needed to do was surrender, accept what was and ask for help. Not always an easy thing to do when you feel like the other person was in the wrong and you were an innocent victim of other people's choices.

I had to let go of the anger. I was only hurting me. I had to ask for help, even when I was the one in the wrong and ask for forgiveness and healing so I would not continue acting out in my dis-ease.

Thank you for being a part of my life. I like this bear. He is sitting with his paws up willing to receive with one and willing to let go with the other. Just be and trust in the process.

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all, and it often comes with bitter agony. Perfect relief is not possible except with time.
—Abraham Lincoln

Time may or may not heal all wounds. It depends on how we use the time. If we deny our sorrow, or runaway from it, or hope it will just go away by itself, we will be miserable. But if we turn and face it, and express our sadness in healthy ways, somehow we are transformed by the sorrow itself. While the loss is still there, it begins not to hurt so much.

We can express our sadness in many ways. Crying is probably the healthiest means of expressing grief. It's good to cry, even for men, because it releases tension and stress, and we find a little peace afterwards. It is true that tears are healing.

Getting angry and expressing our anger in appropriate, healthy ways also helps to heal wounds of loss, strange as it may seem. Yes, in time and with the courage to express our feelings, our wounds are indeed healed.

What is a healthy way to express my anger at a loss?

It is important to be willing to let it go and the person to go in peace. I was told that my anger wasn't allowing the other person to leave this world whole and in peace. I had to talk it over with my sponsor, closest friends, counselor, and spiritual adviser.

[MajestyJo]

"Sometimes I think I'm going to die from the sadness. Not that anyone ever died from crying for two hours, but it sure feels like it."

As a survivor of child (sexual) abuse you have a lot to grieve for. You will grieve for the way you were hurt. You will grieve for not being protected, for the things you missed out on as a child. You will grieve for the time and money it takes to heal, for the relationships and happiness you have lost.

If you covered up your pain by pretending you had a happy childhood, you will have to grieve for the ideal family you didn't really have. You'll have to give up the idea that the abuser had your best interests at heart.

You may have to grieve for the fact that you don't have suitable grandparents for your children, or a family you can depend on.

You must also grieve for the shattered image of a world that is fair and safe for children. You will grieve for your lost innocence and ability to trust.

[MajestyJo]

The face in the mirror

"Our inability to see beauty doesn’t suggest in the slightest that beauty is not there. Rather, it suggests that we are not looking carefully enough or with broad enough perspective to see the beauty."

-- Rabbi Harold Kushner

Who are you? You can gaze at your reflection in a mirror but you’re not likely to see your true likeness. You are beautiful, unique, perfect. Do you see that?

The world needs you to see how whole and complete you are -- now. Can you begin to own your divinity? The world needs you to know who you really are so you can be the mirror for others.

"The sun shines not on us but in us. The rivers flow not past, but through us, thrilling, tingling, vibrating every fiber and cell of the substance of our bodies, making them glide and sing."

-- John Muir

Used with permission from Higher Awareness

Give yourself permission to see the goodness in you. I can still have problems with this. I think I have a preconceived idea of how I should look. Perhaps it is a illusion, and perhaps something I aspire to and yet haven't reached my goal. Be it my weight, my personality, my communication skills, and my all round physical appearance.

I have always had a problem with swollen ankles. When my ankles are swollen, I thinking fat and ugly. It has an origin that goes back for many years.

Sometimes I can see that face and I am happy with her. Most days I feel complete and whole, prior to this last bout of swelling and medication and difference of opinion with my doctor. He keeps saying it is a good pill. I think it is a bad pill because it does more than work on the physical it tears down my mental and emotional well being.

[MajestyJo]

SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE

How would you rate your level of "Inner Peace"?
Enough to stay calm in a den of lions?
Enough to get through a good day?
Enough for the next five minutes,
so long as everybody leaves you alone?

You may need a good case of inner peace,
a disease that could leave you stress-free
and contented for years to come.
A chiropractor named Jeff Rockwell
composed a list he calls
"Symptoms of Inner Peace."
You may have already caught this disease!
See how many of these symptoms you exhibit:

1.
A tendency to think and act
spontaneously rather than from
fears based on past experiences.

2.
An unmistakable ability
to enjoy each moment.

3.
A loss of interest in judging self.

4.
A loss of interest in judging others.

5.
A loss of interest in conflict.

6.
A loss of interest in interpreting
the actions of others.

7.
A loss of ability to worry
(this is a serious symptom).

8.
Frequent,
overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

9.
Contented feelings of connectedness
with others and nature.

10.
Frequent attacks of smiling
through the eyes of the heart.

11.
Increasing susceptibility to love
extended by others as well as
the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

12.
An increasing tendency
to let things happen.

Inner peace is a communicable disease
that could possibly infect
your home or workplace.
You may already be showing signs of it
and quite possibly be passing it along to others!
Rockwell warns:
"If you have all or even most
of the above symptoms,
please be advised that your condition
of PEACE may be so far advanced
as to not be treatable."

Have you caught it?

[MajestyJo]

It is okay to be who we are, we don't have to wear masks.

[MajestyJo]

"Portrait of a Friend"

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

- - Unknown

[MajestyJo]

We are not suppose to give advice. All we can do is share our experience, strength and hope. I share with you, what worked for me. My words are not original. They are words that I have read or heard from others in recovery. Not just one fellowship, but from AA, NA, Al-Anon, and through the different readings from other fellowships like Nar-Anon and OA, over the last 25 years.

[MajestyJo]

Elder’s Meditation of the Day July 26

“These are our times and our responsibilities. Every human being has a sacred duty to protect the welfare of our Mother Earth, from whom all life comes. In order to do this, we must recognize the enemy – the one within us. We must begin with ourselves…”
–Leon Shenandoah, ONONDAGA

The outside is merely a reflection of our insides. My mind is designed to tell me that I’m not crazy for thinking what I am thinking. Even if I have angry thought, my mind is giving me excuses and reasons why it is OK to think what I’m thinking. I need to be knowledgeable about the laws of harmony and balance. I cannot twist the laws to serve me, but I can adjust my life to serve the laws. This is the law – I am here to serve the Earth. The Earth is not here for me to misuse and abuse.

Oh Great Spirit, allow me the insight and knowledge of how to live in harmony and balance with my surroundings. Grant me change from within.
Thank you.


Elder’s Meditation of the Day September 13

“The most important thing you can do during the course of the day is to pray.”
–Joe Coyhis, STOCKBRIDGE-MUNSEE

There are many things we do during the day that are important. There are many places we have to go and there are many things to accomplish. The old ones say, the most important thing we can do is remember to take the time to pray. We should pray every morning and every evening. In this way we can be sure that the Great Spirit is running our lives. With the Great Spirit we are everything but without Him we are nothing. All Warriors know their greatest weapon is prayer. To spend time talking to the Creator is a great honor.

Great Spirit, thank You for listening to my prayers.


Elder’s Meditation of the Day September 16

“To me, the wisdom the Elders have to manifest is in teaching people how to live in harmony and balance with each other and the Earth.”
–Sun Bear, CHIPPEWA

You cannot give away what you don’t have. You need to give away what you have in order to keep it. Our Elders have lived their lives with a lot of trial and error. They have experienced how to do things well and they have experienced what didn’t work for them as they grew old. They know things about living that we don’t know. So, through the years the Elders have gained wisdom. They usually have a whole different point of view because of all their experiences. There are two ways to learn. Someone tells us what they did and we do the same thing or someone tells us what they did and we choose not to do it. Both of these paths will help us to live.

My Creator, teach me about choices and decisions and consequences. Put an Elder in my life to guide me.

[MajestyJo]

Elder’s Meditation of the Day September 18

“I walk in and out of many worlds.”
–Joy Harjo, CREEK/CHEROKEE

In my mind are many dwellings. Each of the dwellings we create ourselves – the house of anger, the house of despair, the house of self pity, the house of indifference, the house of negative, the house of positive, the house of hope, the house of joy, the house of peace, the house of enthusiasm, the house of cooperation, the house of giving. Each of these houses we visit each day. We can stay in any house for as long as we want. We can leave these mental houses any time we wish. We create the dwelling, we stay in the dwelling, we leave the dwelling whenever we wish. We can create new rooms, new houses. Whenever we enter these dwellings, this becomes our world until we leave for another. What world will we live in today?

Creator, no one can determine which dwelling I choose to enter. No one has the power to do so, only me. Let me choose wisely today.

These were sent to me by a Shaman who befriended me on Facebook. He is 26 years sober. He gave me permission to post them.

[MajestyJo]

Elder’s Meditation of the Day September 19

“I am building myself. There are many roots. I plant, I pick, I prune. I consume.”
–Wendy Rose, HOPI/MIWOK

The most sacred thing on this Mother Earth is life. My life on this earth is governed by God’s laws, principles, and spiritual values. These things are my roots. Let me see Your gifts of growing and becoming a spiritual warrior. Make my strength based on values – spiritual values; on principles and laws, the laws of God that really run the universe. We need to realize the seeds we plant in the spring will be what shows up in our summer season of growth and will be the fruits that we will harvest in our fall season. We really have a lot to do with what shows up in our lives.

Great Spirit, let my seed that I plant today be based on values that will make You pleased with my selection.

[MajestyJo]

Elder’s Meditation of the Day September 20

“You will only get back what you give out.”
–Joe Coyhis, STOCKBRIDGE-MUNSEE

The Great Spirit created a system of balance and justice. This law says, if you treat others with respect, you will be treated with respect. If you gossip about no one, no one will gossip about you. If you are fair in all of your dealings, you can expect the same. If you share with others, others will share with you. If you judge others, others will judge you. You will always get back what you give out. The original teaching talks about being a giving person. A giving person will constantly be on the receiving end.

My Creator, help me to be a giving person today.