Today's Thought - December

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December 16

Stop expecting too much from yourself.
--Anonymous

When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can't improve the performance, we should lower the demands. When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. As we grow each day in recovery, we are able to do more.

What we expect from ourselves can change the next day. It is very important that through our meetings and conversations with fellow members, we keep close tabs on our development. We find out that life is for living, and it is better lived when we do our assignments every day.

We are really never given more than we can do. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed.

Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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December 17

When all else fails, read the instructions.
--Agnes Alien

The instructions for recovery are in our Twelve Step program. Yet, there are times when we feel our program isn't working. At these times, we need to read the instructions.

Have you followed the "instructions," the wise words found in The Big Book, The Twelve and Twelve, and other recovery literature? When we do, we recover.

It's hard at times and easy at others. Our problems go deeper than just staying sober. No matter what our problems, our program can help us start fixing them if we follow the instructions. Don't use alcohol or other drugs. Go to meetings. Talk often with sponsors and program friends. Work the Steps. Think. Easy Does It. First Things First. Listen. Let Go and Let God. One Day at a Time.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, tell me which instructions to read today. If I'm headed for trouble, help me out.

Today's Action

I'll read the instructions today.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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December 18

Do not reveal your thoughts to everyone, lest you drive away your good luck.
--Apocrypha, Ecclesiasticus 8:19

We've had problems in our lives with limits. We have done some things to excess and others we have endlessly postponed. Sometimes we haven't had good judgment about what we ought to tell someone or whom we ought to tell. We may have kept secrets that made us lonely and sick. Other times we exposed too much in inappropriate situations and hurt someone else or ourselves. Developing these internal limits is a quiet change that comes with recovery. Gradually, we gain a stronger feeling of self-respect and become more intuitive about when to express something and when not to.

Secrets are links in our chains of bondage to isolation, addiction, and codependency. Yet, when we are compelled to tell everything, we lack the feeling of self-containment that comes from maturity. We need a sense of privacy which is the freedom to choose what and when to confide in a friend. What does our intuition tell us today about our privacy and our openness?

Today, I will listen to my inner messages about what I need to discuss with others and when I need to withhold.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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December 19

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.
--Rainer Maria Rilke

We carry problems and discrepancies within us, quandaries that are not easily answered - and we have bigger questions about life and the world. Why did I act as I did in my younger years? Can my life partnership be happy again? How should I handle a secret that I carry? What is this thing we call Higher Power and God?

We are on a journey and, in some ways, this journey is a quest for answers. The questions give energy and direction to our seeking. We cannot expect to get quick or easy answers. And some questions will always remain just that: questions. But we can learn to be patient with ourselves, tolerant of our incompleteness, and always curious about how it will all turn out.

Today I will practice patience with myself and embrace my unsolved questions as crucial elements in my quest.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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December 20

Change of scene has no effect upon unconscious conflicts.
--Edmund Bergler, M.D.

There's no running away from the internal strife. Whatever haunts us must finally be confronted and resolved if we're ever to grow and thus contribute to our world its due. When we keep secrets locked away, the secrets begin to keep us locked away as well.

It is folly, and yet entirely human, to think a new location, a new job, a new lover will cure whatever troubles us. The truth is, however, that whatever trips us up is at the same time trying to edge us forward to new awareness, and thus the next level of growth. Our troubles are tools for a strengthened foundation. Without them, we'd soon crumble.

When we consider the conflicts we encounter as opportunities for further development, they excite us rather than provoke anxiety. Changing our perspective can make the same scene appear quite new.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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December 21

Resolve to be thyself; and know that who finds himself, loses his misery.
--Matthew Arnold

Our need for approval compels us to try to look good - no matter what's going on. We imagine that somehow everything will be okay as long as it looks okay. Our hearts may be breaking from fear, disillusionment, and rejection, real or imagined, but we keep smiling so that no one will guess. Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it so hard to turn to a friend and say, "Hey, I'm hurting. I've been having a bad time and I need help"? Would the earth tremble if we said it right out, just like that?

We're not likely to get what we don't ask for. Instead of denying that our knees are shaking, our hands are sweating, and our stomachs are in torment, we can admit and share the truth. We don't have to say "Fine!" when someone in the program asks us how we're doing. Our real friends aren't impressed by stiff upper lips; they're impressed by personal honesty.

Today, I will tell someone the truth about how I feel. If I'm not fine I won't say that I am.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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December 22

The greatest gift we can give another person is the gift of ourselves.

When we can share our deepest convictions and failures, our ideals and disillusionments, our hopes and frustrations, our dreams and despairs, our answers and our questions – then we are loving our neighbors as ourselves as well as "loving our enemies."

A friend put it this way, "If I share the whole of me with you, I share the good as well as the bad. I don't hide anything of myself from you, not in a deep friendship, or a deep marriage for that matter. By sharing some things I hate about myself, I'm loving my inside enemy. I'm telling you I'm still human and have a lot of growing to do. I'd love to tell you about all my good points, it would make me feel a lot better, but it wouldn't be sharing all of me with you."

TODAY I will concentrate on sharing my insides and outsides with another; I will listen to myself as I talk. I will not be satisfied if I sit on my laurels or wallow in my woes. I will improve myself by becoming aware of how I communicate to others.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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December 23

Some people walk in the rain. Others just get wet.
--Roger Miller

Gifts are usually surprises. We don't generally know what the ribbons, bows, and wrapping conceal.

Life's greatest misfortunes are, in retrospect, often referred to as gifts. While a debt can feel like a curse, when we finally get to the bottom of what's happened to us, we're surprised to find something good - a gift or blessing of sorts. Through our misfortune, we may have developed some true and lasting relationships, learned we had some admirable qualities we didn't know we had, or discovered the meaning of courage.

Today, if I am struggling. I will anticipate the wondrous surprise to come.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

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December 24

Gifts of the Spirit

Through the program, we come to desire spiritual gifts as well as material necessities. Experience shows us that serenity is priceless and something to be desired. Courage, wisdom, faith, hope, love, humility - these are all spiritual gifts which come to us from our Higher Power as we abstain and work our program.

As we receive these gifts of the spirit, we are able to share them with others. Giving them away to our families and friends ensures that we will receive them more abundantly ourselves. We come to realize that a small gift of time and attention can mean more than an expensive material present.

God's gifts are available to us whenever we are open to receive them. By abstaining, we make our spirits ready to accept their rightful gifts.

I pray that I may be ready to accept Your spiritual gifts.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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December 25

A single grateful thought toward heaven is the most complete prayer.
--Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

Thank you is one of the most important things we can say to anyone. Thank you packs a lot of meaning into two little words. Thank you says, "I see you. I see what you have done for me. You have been kind to me. I know it takes work to be kind. I feel special that you did the work of being kind to me. I am grateful."

Sometimes it is hard for us to say thank you because we are too busy feeling shame or sadness or anger. So what? No excuses. Those feelings are our own problems, and we know what to do about them now that we have a recovery program. No matter what is going on with us, we can always find help. And we can always be kind to others. Saying thank you is an easy way to start.

Prayer for the Day

Thank You, Higher Power. Thank You for the gift of life, for a world of natural beauty and power to live in, and for the people around me who love me and accept my love. Thank You for caring about me and helping me every day in my recovery, and please help me ask for the gift of Your help each day.

Today's Action

Today I will practice thinking "Thank You, Higher Power" every time I receive a little help or a lucky break.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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December 26

Quiet My Mind

Dear Lord,

Teach me to quiet my mind.

Stop my thoughts from racing from one thing to another.

Stop me from the obsessive thinking about the lives of others.

Help me rest and quiet my mind.

Help me let go of trying to control the lives of others.

Free my mind to be at rest.

This I pray.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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December 27

Relax enough to face reality when life twists and turns.

Sometimes in life, no matter how deeply we intend to make the best decisions possible for ourselves, things happen. Marriages end, jobs turn sour, friends wane. For reasons outside our control or understanding, the situation twists and turns into something other than what we bargained for.

Have you been waiting for a situation to revert to what it originally was - or what you hoped it would be when you got in? Are you telling yourself that there's something wrong with you, when the reality is, the situation has changed into something other than what you thought it was? Things often don't go as smoothly as we planned. Sometimes, we need to endure and get through the rough spots. But I'm talking about those grindingly difficult moments when life suddenly twists on us.

These are the times we need to quit torturing ourselves. Let go of what you thought would happen. If life has twisted on you, don't turn on yourself. Don't try to make things be the way they were. Come up to speed. Return to now. Let yourself accept the new situation at hand.

The road isn't always a straight course. Sometimes, even a path with heart unexpectedly twists and turns.

God, help me relax and trust my self enough to deal with reality, not my fantasy of what I hoped it would be.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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December 28

To be alive is power,
Existing in itself,
Without a further function,
Omnipotence enough.
--Emily Dickinson

Being a person in this world is an amazing gift. A spiritual awakening promised by this program is open to us. But today, not all of us feel powerful and alive. We may feel weak, inadequate to our task, perplexed, or stymied. Is this a day in which we are filled with exuberance for the gift of life? Or is this a day when we're feeling subdued by life's burdens?

Perhaps we need to evaluate our perspective. Are we trying to control something or someone? Are we acting as if the world should be as we want rather than as it is? Have our individual wills exceeded their natural bounds and spoiled the simple joy of being "without a further function"?

May I find the pleasure and exuberance today that come with being alive. The simple power to be a person is "omnipotence enough."

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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DEcember 29

I can't handle it, God. You take over.
--Anonymous

The life we lived in the dark world of our disease was a terrifying one. It was as if we were perched on a tiny ledge thousands of feet up the side of a mountain. The drop was straight down. We never dared to look up or down because we so desperately feared falling. All we could do was feed our disease and tremble in fear. We were stuck. There was no room on our ledge for anyone else. We were all alone. Every day, little bits and pieces of our perch would fall off. All we could do was wait.

Finally, out of desperation, we looked up and saw thousands of people urging us to climb. They reached down and created a human chain for us to climb. All we had to do was let go of our perch and take the hands extended to us. We stood, looked up, let go, and took the hands. We were safe.

I'm not stuck any more. I've let go of my fear and accept help when I need it.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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December 30

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
--Francis Bacon

Each day we hope for accomplishment and satisfaction and we'll achieve these when we scale our hopes to our real capacities. There's no more satisfying feeling than finishing a project we've set up ourselves, tailored to our abilities, and worked at with patience and care. Our lives can be filled with such successes.

Learning to live means learning to keep ourselves in the present. This day is all we really have to work with. 0f course today will be influenced by what has already happened; and its influence will extend to tomorrow, next week, and beyond. But all we can make or do lies here, within this window of space and time.

May my supper be contentment. I'll breakfast on hope again.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg