Accepting Life

[MajestyJo]

When one door closes, another door opens. It's waiting in the hallway that's hell. I am not a slow learner. I am just, sometimes, a slow accepter.

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This really speaks volumns to me. I am aware, that another door opens, sometimes a window and to my way of thinking, it can be a tunnel, an underground passage, whatever it is, it is available if I choose to take it.

I too am not a slow learner but I need to learn to slow things down and give somethings more time to process before I react. I am better than I was, but something that God and I still need to work on. It is a daily thing, some days are better than others.

And as they say, acceptance is the key. Most times for me to find acceptance, it is a process. I quite often have to knaw on it a little bit, before I can come to a decision. Quite often I have to deliberate and ask, "Is this one yours God or mine?" Sometimes I even ask Him to rethink His answer or change His mind and have even been known to try to prove Him wrong.

I know He knows best, yet I firmly believe He leads and guides me. If I am doing His will, how come I got to where I did and then I have to give it some more thought. Generally, it is that I got side tracked, took a wrong turn, misunderstood, or someone else got in the way, and I allowed it and gave up my own power. When that happens, I have to accept my own failings, and surrender and turn them back over to Him again.

When I just accept what is, in the moment, life doesn't get any better than that.

Sorry if these are repeats. Many times I say the same thing, often using different words, but what ever I have posted, no matter what year it came from, all has meaning and applicable in today.

Sometimes I need to be accepting of some nasty stuff, most often brought on by my own decisions, I am where I am in today, as a result of choices made. It also applies to the joy and happiness in the moment, if I don't accept it, acknowledge it, give thanks for it, it can pass me by.

[MajestyJo]

There was very little acceptance in my life. I fought abuse and rebelled against anything and everything. I was definitely the defiant one.

I was also accused of not getting sober by the book. People told me the first 164 pages. I said, "Is that all there is, I want more." What I found out that no matter where I looked outside of the rooms, they always led me back there. I went to other fellowships, and came back to AA, mainly because of my denial. I identified more with addicts and yet a lot of addicts didn't always identify with me because to them I wasn't an addict because I didn't do street drugs and the heavy duty pills like perks and oxys. As I told one member, I feel like an AA reject.

Even now, I am more inclined to say, "Don't tell me, show me."

I know that when I find that acceptance, it makes all the difference, so I don't know why I fight it. Not so much any more, but it took a long time and it wasn't until I heard, you didn't have to like it to accept it, I struggled.

Acceptance is part of the First Step. I had to accept my disease. It is also a part of the grieving process. Any time we go through loss or change in our life, we go through that grieving process, so it is very much a part of our lives.

The biggest challenge was accepting me. The people in the rooms loved me back to good health. They gave me the love I couldn't find within myself.
I like the part about attitude and the way we look at things, that is me. I think there is goodness to be found in all things. Sometimes you have to look real hard to see it, but even if the only thing is the fact the person is sober, that is special in and of itself.

Acceptance is the key as the Big Book says. If I accept it for what it is, the way it is, in the moment, I know that when I surrender it to my Higher Power, it will change, without any help from me. Sometimes all I have to do is get out of the way. Other times, I have to do the footwork, for me that is showing a willingness to change to be open to new things.

It was a real gift to find out that I didn't have to like it in order to accept it.

Something I posted on The Five As in 2011

[MajestyJo]

Acceptance of our past, acceptance of the conditions presently in our lives that we cannot change, brings relief. It brings the peacefulness we so often, so frantically, seek.

We can put the past behind us.

Each day a new beginning (see next post)

A good read! The end of a year, the beginning of a new one. A good opportunity to leave to past in 2013 and make a new beginning in 2014.

Once I find acceptance, I can move on. What was was! What is in today is! What is in tomorrow, is unknown! It doesn't have to be the same as the past, when we live in today and make healthy choices. I can change the old tapes and patterns, make new ones to take into the future, with the help of my Higher Power. When I make Him/Her a part of the equation, things will not turn out the same unless I wish to repeat past mistakes and bring the past into my today.

For many years, I didn't know the wisdom to know the difference. I still hung onto the controlling ways of my past and still wanted to fix things or do things, finding it hard to wait for God or to allow others to do for me or give them a chance to grow and do for themselves.

I know when everyone told me to quit smoking, I dug in my heels and continued to smoke. I told them, "If you are going to pray for me, do it quietly so I don't hear. If I hear you, I just get more determined to continue doing." I get the old attitude, "Don't tell me I can't or shouldn't, watch me!"

Criticism and being told what I should do really got my dander up. In today, I embrace change. I don't mind criticism if it is done with a kind heart and said in a non-intrusive way.

Again, I could accept the fact that I needed to quit smoking but unless I followed it up with action, and changing my attitude, I couldn't quit.

Acceptance is part of the process of change: awareness, admittance, acceptance, attitude, action. It is a big part of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Until I find that acceptance, I can't let go.

Grieving is just not about death, it is about loss, change due to circumstance in our life and they are all the same process.

Each day is a new beginning. So have a good one! I am the one who controls the 'play' button. I can also rewind and play the tape over and over, or I can erase it and make a new tape.

Very much needing acceptance in today and every day. It is the key to recovery for me. Accepting what is knowing it is subject to change. What was is no more. Leaving the past in the past, and accepting today as it comes, one day at a time.

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

... satisfaction is a lowly thing, how pure a thing is joy.
—Marianne Moore

Our perfectionism generally dashes all hopes of self-satisfaction. But the program is here to show us that we can make progress. We can learn to believe that we are doing any task as well as we need to do it, at this time. Our job is the effort. The outcome is part of a larger plan, one that involves more than ourselves.

We'll find joy when we find acceptance of ourselves and our efforts and the belief that we are spiritual beings whose lives do have purpose and direction.

The wisdom that accompanies spiritual growth offers us security, that which we have sought along many avenues. And when we feel secure, we can trust that the challenges confronting us are purposeful and to our advantage.

One day at a time, one small prayer at a time, moves us even closer to spiritual security. We can look with glad anticipation at our many responsibilities and activities today. They are our opportunities for spiritual security. We can trust our growing inner resources by simply asking for guidance and waiting patiently. It will find us.

I must exercise my prayers if I want the spiritual security where I can find joy. I will ask for guidance with every activity today.

Reference from previous post.

I need to accept that I am worthy of recovery and love.