Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - May

[bluidkiti]

May 23

Step by Step

"It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. ...But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 66

Today, understand and accept that resentments are both futile and unhappy and, by holding onto them, these words are gospel: " ...(H)arboring such (resentment), we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die." Because I cannot afford to empower anything so strongly that my sobriety and, maybe, my life are imperiled, I will listen to my higher power for the way to release to Him my resentments without taking them back. By holding onto and later taking back resentment, I must see that I am still spiritually sick and that the sickness can trigger a slip or relapse. Today, I seek with sincerity and humility the courage, strength and willingness to release that which I cannot control - and not take it back. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

TRUSTING OTHERS

The three Ts of gratitude to repay the Program for our recovery: our TIME, our TALENT, our TRUST.

~ Anonymous ~

In our recovery, we are building trust in others and in ourselves. For the first time in our lives, we know that we can reveal ourselves completely to others without fear of being put down. When we get stuck with negative thoughts, it is important to find the strength of sharing with others in the Program.

At the same time, we are aware that others are placing trust in us not to use their sharing to benefit ourselves or to belittle them. By exchanging confidences and personal experiences, we are truly expressing our ability to love.

We hear that our entire Program rests on the principles of mutual trust. We trust God, we trust the 12 Steps, and we trust each other. The 2nd Tradition states that our leaders are but “trusted servants.”

When I share with others, I am also aware that they need me, just as I need them.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Seeing first one’s own defects and shortcomings is
Humility; the fruit of vision is tolerance.

~ Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham ~

The word bumble has its roots in the Latin word for earth, humus. That doesn’t mean that if I am humble I feel like dirt. It means that the earth is truly my mother. My flesh and bones, like all living creatures, are made of earth—nothing more and nothing less.

When I gain humility, I have myself in perspective. I like myself and I see how much I have in common with all my fellow human beings. This is truly a gift that I receive as part of living a spiritual life. It means I have acceptance and peace of mind. I don’t have to constantly compete. I can make mistakes and still have the possibility of repairing them. I can be okay even when no one is paying attention to me.

Today I will be open to receiving the gift of humility.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In order to become responsible, it is imperative we take a close look at the effect our thoughts and beliefs have on our lives.

~ Susan Smith Jones ~

What’s on our minds and in our hearts is pretty easily interpreted by the people sharing our lives. Our demeanor, our attitude, our expression, even our gestures, speak loud and clear. The relationships we have with others mirror what is happening within ourselves.

Most of us crave control. We think we’d find lasting happiness if only others would do what we want. But wringing our hands over their independence won’t change anything. On the contrary, addressing our own behavior, our own thinking, our own attitudes can encourage the very behavior we tried to demand all along. This is one of the tiny miracles that comes with working this program.

Taking charge of every one of my actions, the loud as well as the very quiet, will give me the control I need—over me and no one else.

I will have the kind of day I want today. My relationships will give to me what I give to them in thought and deed.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can resist the urge to use

I think I won’t survive if I don’t have my drug. I think that if I can’t use, I’ll scream or smash something. I think I actually ache; it feels like I’m losing control.

And then suddenly I remember what I’ve learned from my counsellor and sponsor−if I hold off, the cravings will pass. They say that if I can distract myself for just four or five minutes, I will be OK. I believe my helpers (although each minute can feel like an hour). I want recovery badly. I can do what it takes to stay clean and sober.

I will pray for strength and courage. I will call my sponsor (or friend) as soon as I feel the urge to use.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.

~ Pierre Corneille ~

Most of us grew up learning it’s better to give than to receive. While it is true that it’s good to give to others in need, and to think of others before ourselves, some of us become dependent on giving as the only way we can feel good about ourselves. Our self-worth is so low that giving becomes necessary to our self-esteem and we are blind to what others are trying to share with us.

Now, we’re learning to share our blessings with others and let others share with us. We may share our feelings and thoughts, our time and talents, and our money and possessions, especially with those in need. But we need to be gracious and willing to receive what others want to share with us, too. The fellowship of our Twelve Step recovery program is based on such a willingness to share. Giving and receiving are meant to exist together, in balance.

Today may I be willing to receive what others wish to give me, even as I am willing to give to others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I believe that he was really sorry that people would not believe he was sorry that he was not more sorry.

~ Samuel Butler ~

How much can people believe in what you say? In the past, you most likely made promises you did not keep or said what you thought others wanted to hear just to get them off your back. You may have told others you were sorry for something you had done. But your apology may have sounded less than sincere if it was snapped at another in anger—“I said I was sorry!”—or spoken with sarcasm—“Well, sor-ree!”

Just because you tell someone you are sorry may not be enough. You can certainly say those words—and de-liver them by using a tone of voice and body language that convey your regret—but you also need to take action to rectify the wrongs you have committed. Your words, combined with your actions, build trust.

Ask yourself, “Am I expressing that I am truly sorry simply because I am frustrated, or am I saying that I am sorry because I understand the harm I have done?” Then back up your words with actions that reflect your apology.

I want others to trust me. Today I will pay attention to the words I am saying and the actions I am taking to back up those words.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts.

~ Marcus Aurelius ~

If we give a group of children paper and crayons and ask them to draw a self-portrait, we will see that their choice of colors will communicate how they feel about themselves. Pastel colors can convey happiness and contentment; bright colors can reveal strong feelings; black or blue can mean sadness or pain.

"How would we color a picture of ourselves tonight? If our day has been good and we've kept our thoughts positive and focused in the present, our choice of colors will probably show contentment and serenity. If our thoughts today have been negative or focused on the past or future, we may choose colors that reflect confusion, fear, sadness, or insecurity.

We can steer clear of the blues tonight if we think of ourselves in happy colors. There's a whole rainbow of colors to feel−the choice is up to us.

What color is my soul tonight?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Listening

A common saying in the program is “If you don’t like what you hear at this meeting, leave it here.” Many people do just that, they leave everything at the meetings. Most of us did not get better by listening only to what we wanted to hear.

What helped us in the long run was listening to things we didn’t want to hear, such as “Work the Steps, you’re no better than anyone else,” and “Don’t take that first fix, pill, or drink.” The hard work of recovery, the things we don’t want to do, are often the very things that make it possible for us to ar-rest our disease.

Am I listening to what I need to hear?

Higher Power, grant me the courage to listen to the hard things and apply them in my program today.

Today I will listen to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

Newcomer

I’ve just come from a meeting where every single person but me got to share. I had my hand up the whole time, and it was still up when it was time for the meeting to end. The person who led the meeting looked at his watch and said, “It’s time to close.” There weren’t that many people at the meeting—I know he saw me. At times like this, I just want to forget this whole meeting thing.

Sponsor

I can understand your anger at feeling left out.

There are many meetings where the leader asks, a few moments before the closing, whether there’s anyone in the room who has “a burning desire” to share, and others where the leader may say, “Please don’t leave with a resentment; if you didn’t get to share, please talk to one of us after the meeting.” Sometimes the leader suggests that a person who didn’t get the opportunity to share lead the group in the closing prayer. Any of these ways of acknowledging our presence can be helpful. But if we need to share and aren’t given the opportunity, we can invite someone to join us for coffee, or we can call our sponsor.

With rare exceptions, Twelve Step program meetings begin and end precisely as scheduled. For me, it’s comforting to be able to depend on that. In the old days, there wasn’t much I could count on other than my addiction.

Today, I create opportunities for sharing.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

“God created the world and God saw everything He had made, and behold, it was very good.” He gave man dominion over the world and we have badly fouled it up.

This world, with all its wars, crimes, sins and sorrows, is truly our world−not the one God made.

Alcoholics and non-alcoholics alike must get out of the driver’s seat, admit we are powerless over our baser instincts and let God take over.

Then our world will become His world again and it will be very good indeed.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A TIME TO FAST

Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly (Matthew 6:16−18).

Jesus takes the practice of fasting for granted. Now the most profitable method of fasting is abstention from negative or error thoughts. In some cases it is necessary to abstain for a time from thinking about a particular problem at all. There are certain problems, usually those that you have been mulling over too much, that are overcome “only by prayer and fasting.” In such a case it is best to give the problem a definite and final prayer, and then to leave it alone, for a time; or else hand it over bodily to someone else to handle for you, after which you keep your thoughts completely away from it.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Time Out

If you ever feel that you should do something, lie down until the feeling passes.

~ Arnold Patent ~

Every activity of life is enhanced by rest. From golf to boxing, players are given time between their performances to step back, renew themselves, and get a perspective. The greatest creators and inventors make use of frequent periods to tap into their creative unconscious: Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein were known for taking cat naps in the midst of their experiments, and returning with powerful insights. The Bible tells us that God created the heavens and the earth in six days, and on the seventh day he rested.

If the Creator of the Universe took a day off to rest, certainly you and I can! Yet how many of us stop to recharge our batteries and remember that there is more to life than incessant activity? We live in a society obsessed with terminal doingness. We believe that our worth is determined by how much we produce, and we fear that if we step back for even a moment we will get behind and someone else will get ahead. Insanity!

The cycle of activity and rest is as natural as day and night, as colorful as the seasons, and as vital as breathing. If you are always on the go, stopping to catch your breath will only empower you. Effective resting is an art that truly successful people have mastered.

The next time you feel overwhelmed, have the presence of mind to stop and catch your breath—it will make all the difference.

I pray to be renewed by the breath of life You give me. Help me to step back and allow You to be reborn in me that I may be reborn in the world.

I breathe deeply. I am empowered by the cycles of creation.