If You Want What We Have

[schell81208]

If you want what we have we must go to any lengths to stay away from mind altering chemicals of any sort, even that which we can't drink, snort, or pull a slot machine...things maybe food, or compulsive spending...these are all a disease of the mind, body and spirit...Just for today , for this minute I have the choice to use the tools I have learned in the program, from others in meetings, from my sponsor and the fellowship...I can choose the joy of life, rather than the pain of active addiction...hearing a newcomer speak at his or her first meetings...is a gift we all need ...bringing me back seeing what it was really like...reading the BB and other literature, journalling , and working the steps in my life today...I am given the amazing opportunity to be alive and sober today...I shouldn't be here today..and it took me many back and forths before I wanted what you all have....change is not easy, nor is it impossible...when the pain of remaining the same , becomes greater than that fear of change...well nobody likes pain, I could "continue to the bitter end, blotting out my existence with chemicals, or I could humble myself to admitting I am powerless over those things. The hardest thing I did was say I am an alcoholic for the first time...If you want what we have , I was told what lengths will you go to? I drank everyday...had excuses (lies mostly) why I couldn't go to a meeting, its too far, too rainy or snowy I am too tired, etc....my sponsor would say to what lengths would you go to to get a drink tonight, or how many miles would you drive for your drugs? She had me there....I would have to go to any lengths for sobriety just as I did for my chemicals...and boy I sure did go any lengths for those!! Like I said I am grateful to all things spiritual and all of you who were instrumental in sobriety...and as they say, they say , the longer we stick around the more miracles we will see. Peace, Schell