Pause For Thought

[MajestyJo]

How is my own life-work serving to end these tyrannies, the corrosions of sacred possibility?

- June Jordan

Sometimes, when we stop and reflect, we need to believe that the work we are doing has a meaning beyond the tedium of the everyday. In fact, if we cannot see some larger connection in what we are doing, we often experience a feeling of loss or emptiness.

We know, somewhere deep inside us, that even if what we are doing doesn't exactly have a great cosmic meaning, they way we go about it and the interactions we have with others around our work can give it meaning beyond itself. Regardless of what we do, we do have an opportunity to make it sacred work.

I always have the freedom for a sacred possibility.

Freedom is a word I love and I didn't know that I was in bondage to so many things. I didn't know that by a spiritual connection to my outlook on life, that I could be free of those old patterns, tapes and beliefs.

- I no longer had to people please.

- It was okay to be me.

- I was not stupid.

- I was an intelligent human being.

- I did not have to go outside of myself for affirmation.

- I didn't have to find my worth by going outside of myself to find something to make me happy.

- I didn't always have to be busy, it was okay to just be!

- I didn't always have to be doing.

- I could take time for myself.

As I look at this, I can see all the "I" and realized that although my disease brought me to a place where I was selfish and self-centered, I had no concept of self-care and self-worth, and completely lacking in self-esteem. So many times, I followed the direction of other people and what they thought I should be doing in my recovery, only to suffer pain and a sense of failure and self-worth. I was trying to live up to other peoples expectations and judgments, instead of listening to what my Higher Power was directing me toward.

The greatest freedom I have been given has been my sense of self, and my sense of well being. I no longer have to live my life through others and my life is built on a new spiritual awareness of the God of my understanding.